Wife has no appreciation for man’s preferred dress

Dear Abby: I am a man who has been wearing lingerie for the past few decades. I found my love of panties when I slipped into my first pair at 17. At 22, I discovered the fun and sexiness of bras and lingerie, and I wear them under my men’s clothing.

I have gone through periods of love and shame for being an “underdresser.” I have confided this to a few women and received mixed responses. Some were appalled; others were OK with it. My wife is in the first category. I told her while we were dating and modeled some for her. She thought it was “weird.”

I tried, for her sake, to repress my desire to wear lingerie, but it has returned. I have been buying panties, bras and other items and wearing them at work or alone. I have found solace in opening up to the women at the lingerie stores that what I am buying is for me, and I’m happy that they are accepting and help me find items I might like.

How do I approach this subject with my wife again and ask if she’s open to me wearing lingerie more often? — Living In Lingerie

Dear Living: You have already discussed this with your wife, and she has made her feelings known. Do not expect her to have become more understanding on the subject of “underdressing.” You are not the only straight man who finds this practice to be pleasurable. Because this is something you feel compelled to do, go online to research groups for cross-dressers in your area and join one.

Dear Abby: I am in love with my best friend, “Mitch.” He’s a father of three girls. He works hard but can’t handle finances. His brother does it for him or nothing would get paid and his kids wouldn’t get what they need. Mitch has ADHD and can’t settle down.

We tried dating, but he cheated on me. We didn’t talk for months, and then started talking again and things are good, even in the bedroom. But some days, he clams up and won’t talk to me. Then, when he wants something, he calls me. Mitch wanted a 55-inch TV, so I got it for him. Then he wanted the new Xbox which, again, I bought. He makes twice as much as I do. Last week, he took off to see a girl and lied to me that he was “working out of town.”

Mitch is coming home this weekend and wants to see me. I know what he wants — sex. Yes, the sex is great, but I think he is using me. When we are together, we are good, but then he turns cold and doesn’t talk to me for days. — Used In Kentucky

Dear Used: Please reread your letter a few times. If you continue to see Mitch, hoping he will change, you are lost in a fantasy. He is dishonest, and he’s using and milking you for everything he can get. Once you shut your wallet and cross your legs, he will disappear. Please, for your own sake, make it soon. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother,Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 or visit www.DearAbby.com