Finances front and center amid child support debate

Dear Abby: I have a child with “Kara,” who is now my ex-wife. Our son lives full time with me and my new wife. Kara was diagnosed with schizophrenia five or six years ago, which is what led to our divorce. She has only recently been able to keep a job despite her condition, which is only being moderately well-managed, but she has a pretty good one now.

Kara spends all her money on herself and rarely spends a day with our son. I’m considering asking the court for child support, but I worry that because of her mental health issues, she’ll end up taking it out on our child.

She’s never been a good parent, largely because of her illness, and she lived with us for a year because I didn’t want to see her homeless. I don’t make much money.

I’m disabled, and the extra income would make a big difference in our son’s life.

Am I wrong to request child support? If Kara loses her job, it could mean jail, but I don’t think she would comply with an informal request. — Struggling In The South

Dear Struggling: You should seek advice from is a family law attorney. Kara appears to be doing the best she can just to get by as are you. You did not mention whether your new wife is employed. If not, because finances are strapped right now, would she be willing to find a job? It might relieve some stress.

Dear Abby: I live with my dad and younger sister. I’m currently looking for work so I can move out. I plan to look for roommates online, but my sister wants us to get a place together. Everyone else in our life agrees that this is the best idea. I do not want to do this.

I’m afraid of my sister. She has a hair-trigger temper that she keeps in check for others but will unleash on me. I try to have fun with her, and sometimes I do, but I inevitably become the target of her anger for reasons I can never predict. I’m afraid to speak to her for more than a few minutes because she twists almost everything I say into an attack on her, even the most lighthearted things.

She is also careless and has damaged some of my things. She triggers my anxiety to the point that I can’t think straight. I mostly hide from her. Yet she still insists that we should live together, and is complaining more and more about how my financial situation is preventing her from moving out.

How do I approach this? No one can offer advice, and it seems like no one is on my side. — Breaking Free In Arizona

Dear Breaking: Your sister appears to have mental problems that none of the rest of the family wants to acknowledge. Under these circumstances she should absolutely not move in with you. To avoid it, you must grit your teeth, dry your tears and keep saying no.