Girlfriend’s social media control a red flag
Dear Amy: I think my girlfriend is in touch with her ex quite a bit, via text, phone and social media.
She does not want me to have an Instagram account, so I deleted the one I had. She blocked me on Twitter, said she would unblock me, but she never did. She is very secretive and protective of her phone.
When she talks to him, she sometimes tells me about it but most often gets defensive and somewhat hostile. She claims I am just trying to catch her doing something wrong. I know she is talking to him with somewhat regular frequency.
I completely understand if she is happy being with her ex or if they are rekindling that old flame. I just don’t want to be a safety net while they light that fire again. Any advice will be greatly appreciated. Dear Boi: “She does not want me to have an Instagram account, so I deleted the one I had.” Whaaaaat?
Your girlfriend does not get to control your social media presence. Healthy couples maintain their own public identity, and don’t need permission from their partner to do so. This is classic abusive and isolating behavior. However, in your case — you seem to realize your girlfriend is doing this, and you are helping her.
There are a number of red flags here. Your girlfriend seems to be in close touch with her ex. But even if she weren’t, her dictates would still be unacceptable. I think it’s time to part.
Dear Amy: “Coffee Shop Patron” was sitting next to some loud girls.
I was glad you pointed out that interjecting is typically a useless act and can also create blowback.
Personally, I have a naturally loud voice and can be quite animated when I am at restaurants and so occasionally I get a person complaining to me directly.
I feel I am more distracting than disruptive. Last time, a fellow complained to me that he and his table couldn’t have a conversation because I was so animated and so I just looked at him and said, “Wow. That’s the first time I’ve been blamed for someone else being boring!”
He should have taken a page from your book. Dear Animated: I guess you can add rudeness to your list of attributes.