Some books should be banned from Fla. schools

When “book banning” bills were filed in the Florida Legislature, the reaction was as predictable as a three-act plot structure.

The setup: Students are enriching their minds reading classical literature.

The confrontation: Prudish busybodies decide the books are smut and throw them into a bonfire.

Resolution: Lawmakers rebuff the book banners, preserving the First Amendment and putting prudishness in its place.

That’s one way the plot would unfold. But there are two sides to every story.

“We’re not a bunch of crazy, right-wing nut-jobs,” Keith Flaugh said. “All we’re trying to do is get school boards to follow the law.”

He’s the managing director of Florida Citizens Alliance, the watchdog group pushing the legislation. There’s actually a third side to this story, which is that both the FCA and its opponents have legitimate arguments.

We should always be wary when anyone demands books be taken off library shelves. But some books are more suitable for adult entertainment stores than public schools.

The perpetual question is where we draw that line.

FCA has identified about 90 “pornographic” books circulating in state school systems, though the bills address more than novels. Opponents are also wary of rules that would elevate the teaching of creationism, and other textbook changes.

But it’s the thought of a Pulitzer-Prize winning book like “Angela’s Ashes” being banned that is animating the debate.

Millions of readers found it a masterfully written tale of an Irish boy growing up in poverty. The FCA finds the book inappropriate, and its argument is indeed based on the law. In this case, Florida Statute 847.001.

In 1,150 words that could have made Hugh Hefner blush, the statute defines the acts and body parts that constitute obscenity. The legislature passed a bill in 2017 prohibiting schools from having books that violate the statute.

The problem is that when strictly interpreted, books like “Ulysses,” “A Clockwork Orange” and “1984” are technically “obscene.”

Come to think of it, doesn’t the Bible have some pretty racy passages that might qualify for banning?

“That’s a false argument,” Flaugh said. He admits there’s a literary gray area but said most classics don’t contain the graphic naughtiness painstakingly described in Florida law. Some, like “Lord of the Flies” do, which is why many teachers, school districts and groups like the Florida ACLU oppose to the proposed bills.

This just gets us back to the question with countless answers — what is “obscene”?

Former Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart famously said he couldn’t define obscenity, “but I know it when I see it.”

I think I saw it in at least a couple of books on the FCA’s hit list, but I must admit my experience with porn is somewhat limited. In situations like that, it pays to call on an expert.

That’s how I found myself wandering the aisles at a local adult entertainment store. With its eye-opening array of clothing, videos, toys and other “marital aids,” the place was far more than a bookstore.

But it had a magazine section, so I figured employees were in a better position than most to know obscenity when they see it.

I chatted with a friendly manager named Nancy, who will never be mistaken for a rightwing nut-job. I asked her to read an excerpt from an FCA-targeted book and compare it to the store’s literature.

She looked at the printout and rendered her verdict.

“I can’t tell a difference,” she said.

That doesn’t mean “The Bluest Eye” by Toni Morrison is the same as “Sexxxy Spouses.” It does mean parents should at least get a heads-up what their ninth-grader is reading in class and be able to object if they wish.

The proposed legislation would strengthen the review process, though the House bill would actually charge violators with thirddegree felonies. That’s a bit much, unless you think librarians should be treated like Larry Flynt.

The revised Senate bill, which was introduced by Debbie Mayfield, R-Melbourne, allows parents or residents to challenge material they consider unsuitable. An independent hearing officer will make the final decision and there are no appeals.

Given that, there probably aren’t going to be a lot of bonfires built outside your local high school.

But it’s good that people get alarmed at the thought of “Angela’s Ashes” going up in smoke. It’s also good that people want to police what kids are exposed to.

Not all critically acclaimed books belong in school libraries.

Just ask our friend Nancy.