‘LGBT is not permanent’? That’s a harmful lie
I can assure you, being LGBTQ+ is permanent. As frustrated as I am that the “Don’t Say Gay or Trans” bill has passed the Florida House and Senate, I am more concerned with many of the statements that were made by supporting legislators in the process of the bill’s approval. In particular, Miami State Sen. Ileana Garcia, during her floor debate in support of the bill, made the statement that “LGBT is not permanent.” In other words, a person’s LGBTQ+ identity can be changed.
This is the foundational belief behind the abusive practice of “conversion (or reparative) therapy.” It is a widespread myth among many conservative Christian communities that with enough prayer, the reading of Scripture, and “therapy,” an LGBTQ+ person can be healed of their sexual orientation or gender identity and live a healthy cisgender, heterosexual life. As we saw in the nauseating rhetoric from our governor’s spokesperson, this perspective often also equates being gay with being a pedophile. These are horrible, harmful, inflammatory accusations, and every LGBTQ+ person is less safe when people in power say things like this.
The fundamentalist belief that LGBTQ+ identity “is not permanent” is why supporters of the “Don’t Say Gay or Trans” bill do not want children to have a safe space at school to begin to come out. Parents who hold these views want to know when their children are beginning to identify as LGBTQ+ even when their children do not feel safe to tell them. The next step is often for the children to be sent to their pastor or a “Christian counselor” to be fed the lie that they can change with enough prayer or other practices. These practices are unfortunately still legal in the state of Florida.
I know the conversion therapy myth well because I lived within it for 20 years prior to coming out as a gay man. I also know the immense harm that this ideology causes for children, youth, adults and families. When a person is told that an inherent, beautiful, healthy part of their identity is fundamentally “sinful,” “broken,” “wrong,” or in some cases “demonic,” they are stuck in a constant battle with their own self. Trying and failing to deny a basic truth about their identity inevitably leads to self-hatred, anxiety, depression, and for many conversion therapy victims, suicidal ideation and death by suicide. This practice is so harmful and dishonest that Exodus International, an umbrella ministry for many conversion-focused organizations, closed down in 2013 rather than continue their harm. If you would like a clearer picture, watch the Netflix film “Pray Away.”
After pursuing this promised “change” myself for over 20 years, and having spoken to countless survivors of this abusive practice, I am very familiar with how inaccurate, dishonest, and misguided the assertion “LGBT is not permanent” is. That perspective has no place in our Legislature, in our schools, or anywhere else. It is truly deadly to our LGBTQ+ community.