Orlando Sentinel (Sunday)

Dear Disney: Will you fight back vs. DeSantis, Florida?

An open letter to Disney from a columnist who has watched Florida Republican­s beat the snot out of the theme-park giant

- Smaxwell@orlandosen­tinel.com

Dear Disney,

Hi. How are you? Probably not great.

You have more GOP politician­s gunning for you these days than those Dalmatians had puppies.

Not only that, people on Fox News and inside the governor’s office are trying to portray you as pedophiles. I’m guessing nobody in the Burbank or Orlando C-suites had that on their 2022 bingo card.

I know you’re dying to get back to business-as-usual, running your parks, paying off pliable politician­s and jacking up prices so high that families need to take out second mortgages if they ever hope to spend the night at the new Star Wars attraction. But first, you need to right the ship.

So I’m here to offer help. Now, I know you might be a little suspicious because many of the things I’ve written about you in the past probably seemed … unhelpful.

That’s true. I didn’t like the way you tried to secretly pressure our County Commission into making sure companies here didn’t have to offer sick time to their employees. (You remember that scandal, right? When we caught

your lobbyist sending secret text messages that were then illegally destroyed? Not so magical.)

Nor was I a big fan of the way you guys claimed to care so much about equality, slapping rainbow flags on anything you could sell — while also cutting checks to every single sponsor of the “Don’t Say Gay” bill. (In fact, I was the one who outed you for that hypocrisy — which is what caught the attention of national media and started your whole new world of hurt. Sorry not sorry.)

Still, I consider myself a student of politics. And right now, you’re in a battle that would make Mulan nervous. So I thought I’d offer up some tactical options.

Option 1: Go nuclear

I like this option for selfish reasons: I just wanna watch the bloodsport.

This is where you go after your attackers’ jugulars, ideally by revealing how some of the very same politician­s bashing you today were your loyal lackeys back when they were cashing your campaign checks.

You spotlight guys like Randy Fine, the Brevard County legislator now leading the charge against you, and how he used to cash your campaign checks and then do your legislativ­e bidding, sending text messages to others saying he wanted your approval before filing tourism-industry bills. (See how handy it is when text messages aren’t destroyed?)

And Randy wasn’t alone. We’ve seen copies of the emails that show Gov. Ron DeSantis’ staff was in cahoots with your lobbyists just last year, trying to give you special legislativ­e favors right after DeSantis’ campaign cashed a $50,000 Disney check as well.

But those are just the texts and emails we’ve discovered. I’m sure you have more. (If anyone asked for comped hotel stays or park freebies, that’d be a nice touch.) Basically, just remind your former errand boys that you have the receipts that prove they used to be your errand boys, and they’ll probably pipe down. Better yet, send those receipts my way. I’ll make sure they’re well cared for.

Option 2: Court fights

This would be fighting in both an actual court and the court of public opinion.

Some legal eagles have questioned whether legislator­s have the right to strip you of your special government status.

Personally, I’ve never thought you deserved such a thing. And I think you’d carry on fine without it. But regardless of what I think, you can challenge legislator­s in court — where they often lose.

You could also beef up your P.R. efforts if you really think all this weirdo “groomer” talk that DeSantis’ office started is taking root. Just remind the world that you’re the caretakers of Cinderella, Snow White, Moana and Coco. Ask America which they think is creepier — your average Disney princess or your average Tallahasse­e politician.

And you already know how to beat back boycott threats. They’re usually short-lived. Back when the Southern Baptists vowed to put you out of business because you welcomed gay families to your park, you just reminded America that you run theme parks they like and make movies they enjoy. Pretty soon, the fireand-brimstone crowd went right back to standing in line for fast passes and movie tickets along with the rest of America.

Option 3: Do nothing

Honestly, this is probably your best option. And I think you know that, too, as evidenced by the fact you didn’t even bother dispatchin­g your legion of lobbyists to the Legislatur­e’s kangaroo court this past week to serve as voluntary punching bags.

The reality is that you’re going to outlast all these political gasbags. Long after the Randy Fines of the world have faded into political oblivion, looking for their next jobs as lobbyists or county commission­ers, you’ll still be making movies and hosting millions of tourists. Just as you have for generation­s.

Also, these guys have the attention spans of a tsetse fly. They’ll move on to another culture-war target as soon as the next Florida company says it believes in diversity or vaccinatio­ns. Or, let’s be honest, as soon as you start cutting them checks again.

But on that last point: Maybe it’s time you guys start exercising a little more discretion about which campaigns you’re funding. Because you’re a big part of the problem.

Until now, you’ve been happy to finance culture warriors who pound on public schools and stoke division as long as those warriors were also doing you favors. But the moment you stopped feeding the beast, you lost control.

So sure, let this tempest pass and the tantrums fade. But once you go back to cutting checks (and we all know you will), maybe think about supporting people who care more about serving this state than starting wars … which is what you should’ve been thinking about all along.

 ?? JOE BURBANK/ORLANDO SENTINEL ?? Mickey has been getting pounded by Gov. Ron DeSantis and Florida Republican­s. So what should Disney do in response? Well, the park has options. And less might be more.
JOE BURBANK/ORLANDO SENTINEL Mickey has been getting pounded by Gov. Ron DeSantis and Florida Republican­s. So what should Disney do in response? Well, the park has options. And less might be more.
 ?? Scott Maxwell ??
Scott Maxwell

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