There’s no perfect way to use communal laundry facilities
My apartment building shares a communal laundry and storage area with the building next to it. The laundry area has three washers and three dryers that you have to pay to use.
I’ve noticed that there are people who will use all three machines simultaneously. To me, this feels incredibly rude to the rest of the residents in the complex, but I would like someone else to validate this — or tell me that I’m wrong. Someone who only has a single load to wash is at the whim of another person using all the machines.
Gentle reader: What you call “being at the whim of other people,” Miss Manners prefers to call “sharing.” It is not always convenient for everyone, but that does not make it rude. You, and two other one-loaders, might equally well have arrived simultaneously and found yourself drawing straws because the three-load neighbor — who could have done all three loads at once and been out two hours earlier — instead prolonged the process.
Dear Miss Manners: I know this may sound like a silly question, but what exactly is the proper etiquette for getting on and off an elevator? Is there even a proper way?
It seems that when people wait right by the door, it makes for an awkward moment when the doors open. But I, too, am guilty of waiting right at the door.
Gentle reader: Rather than telling you to back off from the entrance, or to exit according to age, gender or any other factor you can discern instantly among your fellow passengers, Miss Manners will give you a guiding principle: Do not create logjams.
Therefore, do not block the entrance to the elevator car so that people getting out will have to walk around you. Once inside, do not stand in the front if others are boarding. If you are not getting off at a particular floor, do not stand in the way of those who are.
The principle even overrides conventionally polite gestures. For example, while it would be charming to let an older person exit first, do not do so if your action would block others from exiting.
Dear Miss Manners: I just turned 43. I’ve worked hard to achieve a level of success I’m comfortable with and have taken pretty good care of myself. In short, I am happy to be exactly where I am in life.
When my birthday rolled around, a number of people gave sly winks and said, “Oh, are you 21 now?” or “Turning 30?”
At first, I responded truthfully that I wouldn’t go back to 21 or 30, as those years were hard and my 40s have been the best years of my life. But this seemed to offend the people in those age groups.
What is an appropriate response to these types of comments? I feel like they imply that I would want to deny getting older, which I don’t. In fact, I welcome it.
Gentle reader: A response to those rudely guessing your age? Miss Manners suggests a simple, if purposely oblivious, “No, I’m not 21.” With no smile and no follow-up.
Dear Miss Manners: I have a relative who has been living with her boyfriend for a few years now. Last year, they took a vacation to Asia and got married while on their trip. It was basically an elopement, as no one knew until after the fact.
My relative has just sent out a social media post informing friends and family that the last year has been hectic and they’ve made the decision to forgo a reception. They plan on continuing to “celebrate their marriage in a more intimate way, as they see people individually” ... whatever that means.
In lieu of gifts, they’ve booked a honeymoon in Hawaii. She then gave a link so people could contribute money for snorkeling and surfing lessons.
Maybe I’m too oldschool, but is this normal? Will I be in bad taste if I don’t contribute to their snorkeling and surfing lessons?
You can certainly be forgiven for noticing that your relative only had time between her vacations to stick out her hand for more. Or for not wishing to participate in their marriage in a more intimate way.
Gentle reader:
Do all the hangers in the closet have to face the same way? My wife says yes, I say no.
Dear Miss Manners:
Gentle reader: Etiquette says either is acceptable — unless, of course, the blouse is asking the skirt a direct question.
To send a question to the Miss Manners team of Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin, go to missmanners. com or write them c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.