Is man just a gigolo?

Dear Amy: Six months ago I met a beautiful woman who is quite wealthy. We hit it off immediately and began a wild sexual relationship. I go to her huge home every day and spend the day in bed with her, as I lost my job last year and can’t seem to find another one.

She gives me hundreds of dollars in cash every week, and I’m saving lots of money for my retirement. The problem is I’m feeling guilty about the whole situation, and I’m starting to feel like I’m being used.

She insists that she loves me. Should I end this relationship while I still have a little pride or should I keep taking her money until I have enough to buy a home and move to Florida?

Dear Confused: Why is this woman giving you so much money? Is it because you won’t see her unless she pays you? Does she need to have power and control over you? Or is it because she loves you and is being generous?

If you don’t like being a gigolo, then stop acting like one. Before accepting the next weekly wad of cash, you should ask her what her motivation is.

If you are in a relationship with someone who loves you (and you don’t love her), and this doesn’t feel right, perhaps you should return the money, reclaim your pride and find another way to get yourself to Florida.

Dear Amy: “Loving Mom” wrote to you about her ex-husband, who is in and out of jail and recently violated their “no contact” court order by sending their young daughter a birthday card.

While your advice was compassionate, you made a mistake when you told this mother to notify the ex that he should contact only her (and not the child). If he contacts her, she is inviting him to violate this court order.

Dear Reader: You are right. “Loving Mom” said her ex was not aware of the court order. I suggested that she notify him of the order and send him a copy.

You are correct that for him to contact her (as I suggested he should) would be in violation; better advice would have been for me to suggest that he only go through his (or her) lawyer if he wanted to be in touch with either the mother or the child.