Awarding the good, bad in news
In today’s column, we’re delivering news-by-award — the good, the bad, the funny, the maddening, the inspiring, the ridiculous.
Most mind-blowingly slow government project. That would be Orlando’s plans to spend 20 months fixing (and closing off ) a 1-mile stretch of Bumby Avenue. Twenty bloody months. It took less time to build the Empire State Building. And that was in 1929! Yeah, I know there’s also drainage and sewer work involved. But there was also pretty major drainage and sewer work when crews built the 605-foot-tall Seattle Space Needle — and that took only 14 months. So we’ve got two massive marvels of modern architecture built faster than Orlando can fix a 1-mile stretch of two-lane road.
Best free thing to do in Orlando under a full moon: The moonlight walking tour at Greenwood Cemetery. Last Friday, I finally got to take this once-a-month tour as cemetery expert (and Southern funnyman) Don Price led a group of about 100 to headstones that tell the tales of Orlando’s early years. Be aware: Don of the Dead is a very popular man. The free tour spots fill up within minutes each time they are offered. More info at greenwood-cemetery.net.
Most overhyped story of the week: Jeb Bush
accidentally checked that he was Hispanic on a voter-registration form ... and some liberal groups are going berserk. Puh-lease. It’s not like he got to vote in some super-secret Latino-only election. It was an error, but one with no real consequence. If that’s the best Dems have to throw at him (and it’s not), the Bush camp should feel encouraged.
Most-regretted sentence uttered by a politician: That would be Gov. Rick Scott’s 2013 declaration that he supported expanding Medicaid because he could not “in good conscience deny the uninsured access to care.” Well, now Scott has completely reversed himself and is opposing the Medicaid expansion. That means he’s no longer acting “in good conscience” ... at least according to him.
Coolest re-use of Mickey Mouse: Just a few weeks ago, Walt Disney World thrilled nonprofits around Central Florida by opening up Mick
ey’s Attic. This little-known philanthropic endeavor happens once a year when Disney collects thousands of pieces of unused merchandise and lets local nonprofits have it for free. We’re talking toys, purses, glassware, artwork, DVDs and more. Groups can use the items for everything from gifts for needy kids to supplies for their classrooms. It’s what happens when overstock meets the underserved, and it’s very cool.
Biggest political coup? Florida’s political blogs were all abuzz this week that some House members might be mounting a coup to derail Orlando Republican Eric Eisnaugle’s brazen plans to be speaker of the House ... in 2021.
Best example that Florida politicians are more focused on personal power grabs than the serious issues: See example above. It’s 2015, for Pete’s sake. There are a lot of serious issues — jobs, health care, the mentally ill and much more
— that deserve full attention now. Fight your petty power plays later.
Most boneheaded political ploy: Gun activists have decided to attack campus police chiefs who spoke out against a law to let guns on cam
pus. First, the NRA accused the chiefs of inappropriately “lobbying” on the public dime ... all because the chiefs showed up at legislative hearings to talk about campus safety. And now the activists
at Florida Carry have stepped up the attack, filing ethics complaints against the chiefs. Apparently these gun activists don’t just dislike the chiefs’ opinions, they want to silence them. (Funny how these die-hard supporters of the Second Amendment seem to have little use for the First.) There are so many common-sense gun owners out there. Unfortunately, they have ceded their political voice to groups like these — ones that vilify public-safety officials more than criminals.
Best way to see a cool show in a fancy setting — for free. Today marks the beginning of UCF Celebrates the Arts, a six-day series of free shows, concerts and performances at the impressive new Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts. There are cabarets, dramatic readings, an orchestral rehearsal and more. And it’s all free. To reserve tickets and see a full schedule, check out arts.cah.ucf.edu.