Scott Maxwell: Guns, bears, coasters — what a week!

Today we’re talking guns, gators, bears and theme parks … basically everything that makes Florida, well, Florida. Let’s start with a “You’ve got to

be kidding me!” follow-up to Wednesday’s column.

On Wednesday, we revealed how Orlando City Hall had teamed up with Universal Studios to get the county’s planning board to recommend denial of the Skyplex roller-coaster project — which Universal clearly views as unwanted competition.

The city’s planning chief said the city wasn’t necessarily opposed to Skyplex, just that it was too tall, too soon, noting that 200 feet was more common.

Except, guess what the city’s planners approved this week:

A 400-foot, 23-story building … with a helipad on top. Yes, a helipad. And guess where this sky-high project will be:

On International Drive … about a mile from the 570-foot Skyplex project it said shouldn’t be approved.

More on this one at orlandosentinel.com/takingnames.

Guns a-blazin’

Get paid to kill. Republican legislators are steaming ahead with a slew of gun bills — including an NRA-backed bill that would make it harder to convict anyone who attacks or kills anyone and claims self-defense. This bill would even give defendants up to $200,000 in public money for legal costs if they get off.

This bill is absolutely unprecedented. No other crime — from pedophilia and burglary to kidnapping and rape — gives such a built-in benefit of the doubt to someone charged with a crime. Not only that, it’s probably not constitutional, since it would retroactively apply to defendants already being prosecuted.

Don’t take it from me. Take it from the Senate’s own staff analysts, who told legislators: “Retroactive application is not generally accepted in criminal justice jurisprudence.” Aww, who cares about the Constitution? The NRA wants the bill. So a Senate committee approved it 4-1.

Gun crazy. If you feel like Florida legislators are ignoring issues you care about — education, transportation, the economy, whatever — so they can advance gun legislation, you’re not alone.

Sen. Audrey Gibson, D-Jacksonville said gun bills seem to be “all we’re doing this session. If you don’t have a gun bill, it’s not going anywhere.” If you like that, keep returning the same people to Tallahassee. If not, wake up.

Loaded for bear

Get ready for a nutty weekend in Florida. The state’s first bear hunt is on. And it’s attracting hunters, protesters and media from all over America … all of whom will be roaming through woods bristling with loaded

weapons.

Now, throw in the fact that some of these folks seem ready for conflict. Red-meat rocker Ted Nugent, for instance, is coming to Florida and described protesters as “a sad, soulless segment of modern man ... bad, dishonest, scamming punks.”

This should go great.

A gator’s ‘Jaws’

So authorities say an alligator killed a man at Blue Spring State Park — and people freak out.

But before the freaking goes viral, state officials announce they caught and killed a 12-foot alligator … so everyone can relax.

It reminds me of “Jaws” — when the mayor of Amity Island was so worried about tourism, he announced that they had caught the monster shark that killed people. (Though he called it “a large predator that supposedly injured some bathers.”) It turned out, they hadn’t.

Heck, it also reminds me of just last year when a bear mauled a Seminole County woman.

Authorities quickly responded by killing a bear to make people feel safer … only it turned out that was the wrong bear. They killed two bears before finding the right one.

Listen, I’m not saying they got the wrong gator. They probably got the right one. But if you’re venturing into Florida’s woods or waters, you’re entering an environment inhabited by creatures who were there long before you.

You’re probably safe. Both species rarely attack. But if you’re counting on state officials to catch or kill anything that might bother you, you should probably think again.

smaxwell@orladosentinel.com