‘Best of’ Ask Amy: Her friend now acts spoiled

Dear Readers: I have stepped away from my daily column for two weeks to finish writing my next book. I hope you’ll enjoy these topical “best of” questions and answers while I’m away.

Dear Amy: I have a friend who used to be so fun-loving and didn’t ever care what anyone thought of her. Now her main priorities are boys and clothes.

She acts like a different person when we are out at the movies with a group of boys. She just got a new boyfriend, and she will do anything for attention.

My friend was adopted because her mother gave birth to her at a young age. I’m just afraid that she will wander down the same path.

I think part of the reason she acts this way is how her parents are raising her. They do whatever she wants and will buy her anything just so they don’t have to hear her whine.

My parents have lost their trust in my friend and say she is a bad influence on me. But I think she has always been a good friend, no matter how spoiled and two-faced she can be. I just feel that it is kind of my “duty” to help her, because no one knows her like I do.

Should I still be her friend throughout high school, or will she have an effect on my future as well as her own?

— Worried Friend

Dear Friend: Your friend could have a negative effect on your future — if you let her. But you sound like such a level-headed and sensitive person that I don’t think you would let her.

Kids develop at different rates. Some kids know who they are and have a clear sense of purpose. Others, like your friend, don’t walk a straight line to maturity.

You could be right that her parents aren’t doing such a good job. Do your best to find kids to hang with who share your values and maturity.

It’s fine to stay friends with someone you’ve known forever, but you can’t ever let a friend dictate your choices (and a true friend doesn’t ask you to do things that make you uncomfortable).

I hope you will take the opportunity to discuss this with an understanding adult; many grown-ups have had similar experiences and might be able to offer you some valuable perspective.