She competes with porn for attention

Dear Amy: I have been dating my boyfriend for almost seven months. We have had our ups and many, many downs, but we are still working on our relationship — physically and emotionally. Recently, I’ve become aware that my boyfriend has been watching porn. I figured it would improve our sex life — but it has become a daily thing. I have watched porn constantly with him, but it doesn’t really help at all. I prefer the real thing to something that’s not even real. Whenever he downloads pictures, it’s always a certain type of white girl — I’m not — and I honestly get jealous. When I confront him about it, he yells at me. I honestly worry he’s doing more than just watching porn. And when I ask, he always says that he doesn’t have anyone on the side and that he only wants me.

I just feel like my time is being wasted. Should I continue to date and live with him? I’m tired of this abusive and neglectful relationship. How do I get the truth out of him?

— Upset Girlfriend

Dear Upset: Look at what is in front of you. You have a guy who, according to you, prefers pornography to the real thing. You’re in a very young relationship, which has “many, many downs.” When you confront him about these issues, he yells at you instead of talking about it.

What more “truth” could you possibly need? Porn has not enhanced your sex life, it has deadened it. Your description of this relationship is depressing. You should not be living with this person. Don’t bother looking for more answers about his behavior — it will only delay the inevitable. Focus on your own choices and vow to make better ones in the future.

Dear Amy: Your response to “At

a Loss” was off base. This writer was wondering why so many divorced fathers drift away from their children. There are a lot of deadbeat dads out there, Amy. Your head is in the sand.

— Been There

Dear Been There: My knowledge of deadbeat dads is intimate and firsthand, unfortunately. But I also understand how challenging it is for noncustodial parents to build and maintain relationships with their children when their visitation is limited.