SATURDAY CIRCUS

their roster. OK, now back to our regularly scheduled programming of lamenting how terrible the team is and what a failure the rebuild has been. … Speaking of the Magic, I have a message for all those fans who are suggesting the team should try to lose as many games as possible down the stretch to up their percentages of a high draft pick: Tanks, but no tanks. …

This is the year not only wins a NASCAR race, but she wins the Daytona 500!!! Hey, we can dream can’t we?. … Speaking of Danica, a little bird tells me that fellow driver and boyfriend

got Danica the same Valentine’s Day gift as always: A dozen long-stemmed socket wrenches. … While we’re on the subject of the Great American Race, do you realize next year will be the 70th anniversary of NASCAR? Here are my top three most important dates in NASCAR history: (1) Dec. 14, 1947: Local mechanic arranges a meeting of track operators and promoters from across the South at the Streamline Hotel in Daytona Beach — and NASCAR is born. (2) Feb. 13, 1959: The first Daytona 500 at the Daytona International Speedway is run. (3) Nov. 3, 1974: The first pair of naked lady mud flaps is spotted on a pickup truck in the Daytona infield. …

UCF basketball coach told me on Friday his suddenly surging team still believes it can get into the NCAA Tournament. If that’s the case, a home victory Sunday against 15th-ranked Cincinnati is imperative. Wouldn’t it be great to see UCF fans pack the house for the biggest home game of the year? … Louisville coach had to be restrained from going after a heckling North Carolina fan earlier this week. Personally, I think Pitino should spend more time monitoring his athletic dorm for hookers and less time listening to idiot fans. Can’t wait to see what wins the Oscar for best picture on Sunday. My vote goes to “La La Land” – that place from which Magic GM recently sent a dispatch assuring fans the team is only “a tweak or two away.”