Don’t want to hear the same story again? Change subject

your knowledge of your friend’s punchlines: “I remember that, that’s a great story. I can’t believe you spent five days in Guam while they tried to find a replacement engine.” Then change the subject.

Is my dress, as mother of the bride, to be similar to the bride’s?

Have you discussed this with your daughter?

Miss Manners has heard that gentlemen contemplating marriage should check out a prospect’s mother, on the idea that she is what a young lady will grow into resembling.

Maybe yes, maybe no, but is the wedding the occasion to test this?

If only people would stop thinking of weddings as costume dramas. The mother of the bride should dress in a becoming, dignified way, according to the degree of formality of the wedding. But she does not have to match the bridegroom’s mother, much less the bride. and you are in a position, as she is not, to notice this and to guess at alternatives.

She is only trying to steer you away from bringing refreshments, which will make the others feel that they have to do so as well, and thus ruin the workable system of rotation that has been planned.

We invited three of our daughter’s friends to celebrate her third birthday with a small party. Afterward, we saw that the mother of one of the friends had posted pictures of the party and our daughter on social media.

My husband and I do not post any photos ever of our children on social media. The mother who posted the photos is an insecure and shy woman. Can I ask her to remove the photos? And if so, how do I do so delicately?

“It was so kind of you to take an interest in Cecelia’s birthday by posting those pictures. I’m afraid, though, that we are a bit shy about having our daughter on social media. I wonder if you might mind editing her out of them.”