Ask Amy: Rules for guests staying with friends, family.

Dear Amy: I live in Hawaii. We have family and friends who stay at our home. Could you briefly describe the "do's and don'ts" while staying as a guest in someone's home?

I believe hosts and visitors would greatly benefit from your advice.

I'm going to frame your suggestions in the guest bedroom. —Hosts with the Most

Dear Hosts: I don't know if this is worthy of framing, but here's my response:

Good guests bring a small token with them to present to their hosts on arrival.

Good guests keep their own area clean and tidy, and offer to help with meal preparation and cleanup.

Good guests are independent and respectful of their hosts' work schedule, are enthusiastic and appreciative of their surroundings and cook or treat their hosts to at least one meal during their stay.

Good guests ask their hosts if they should strip or make the bed on the morning of their departure.

Guests who want to be invited back thank their hosts, in writing, after their stay. Dear Amy: My husband and daughter invited my mother to come for a holiday dinner. Mom announced that she was bringing her dog.

When I heard about this, I called her and asked her to please not bring her dog to our house for dinner. She said, "OK."

She came to dinner and stated that she did bring her dog and had left him in her car.

When dinner was over, we went outside. I looked over and saw that she had taken her dog out of the car and he was roaming the yard. Our two dogs started barking like crazy.

My mother came into the house, and said she needed to take the dog home since my dogs upset him. I told her that I asked her not to bring her dog, but she said, "Too bad" and drove off.

What do you suggest I do in the future if she brings her dog? — No (Other) Dogs Allowed

Dear No Dogs: The kindest thing to do would be for you to see if your three dogs can meet and get along. However, I can see why you don't want to reward your mother's bad manners by caving to her.

Most importantly, it is not safe for your mother's dog to be left in a car for any length of time. Her choice reveals extremely poor judgment on her part.