Embrace the hype of next great fight
Scientists in the Czech Republic announced last week they had discovered a new group of asteroids that could strike Earth and wipe out civilization.
Promoters announced last week that will fight
on Aug. 26. Coincidence? Some people think humanity deserves to be destroyed for staging this bout. I think those people need to either chill out or move to a planet that prohibits mindless entertainment.
Quick primer in case you’ve somehow managed to avoid the hype so far:
Mayweather is an unbeaten world champ who has a 78-room mansion made out of $10,000 bills. McGregor is a mixed-martial artist who spews so much hot air that has declared him the leading threat to the polar ice caps, or at least to
sanity. “It’s a big joke,” ESPN’s ace reporter said, “and anyone who pays to watch this fight is going to deserve exactly what they’re going to get, which is a travesty of a fiasco of a sham of a farce.”
He’s right. McGregor has almost zero chance because they’ll be boxing, not brawling.
But Schaap and other critics are looking at things the wrong way.
This isn’t a fight. It’s a show, a two-month spectacle like a TV mini-series or Broadway play or
swimming against a great white shark.
Millions of people will pass the summer debating everything about this event, including whether they should spend $100 or so on pay-per-view.
Hey, the average ticket to “Hamilton” cost $1,200. You’d have to pay me $1,200 to sit through a musical, but it doesn’t bother me that the Broadway crowd has made
richer than Mayweather.
And everybody knows how the play ends. Hamilton gets eaten by a shark disguised as .At least there’s a suspenseful chance Mayweather will trip and stumble into a McGregor punch.
Even if the fight is a complete pugilistic dud, so what? That’s what everybody expects. If they’re still willing be taken for a ride, it’s their money.
Besides, the only way to avoid the hype will be to move into the Unabomber’s COMMENTARY old shack and not come out until September.
So just sit back and enjoy the nonsense until an asteroid arrives to teach us all a lesson. The Converse sneakers
wore in the 1984 Olympic basketball final sold for $190,372 last week. No, Jordan was not included in the purchase.
Someone paid $133,000 for two courtside seats to Game 5 of the NBA Finals.
autographed trading cards went on sale for $59.95 each.
The Cubs announced they would sell 2,016 leaves pruned from Wrigley Field’s ivy-covered walls after last year’s World Series. Each leaf, preserved in an acrylic display, goes for $200, plus taxes, fees and a $15 shipping charge.
The moral of the story — Hamilton tickets are actually worth only six dead leaves. KISS lead singer
is trying to trademark the “Rock On” hand gesture (index and pinky fingers extended, middle and ring fingers tucked toward the palm), claiming he used it first during a 1974 tour. Au contraire, Geno.
among other rockers, used it before you. Texas fans began flashing “Hook ’em Horns” gestures in 1955.
And superstitious Italians have long used the gesture to ward off evil spirits and coaching their soccer team. Any family that didn’t give the Guide to Parenting” to Dad for Father’s Day.
The Dodgers’ for flipping two birds at Cleveland fans who heckled him after he hit a home run. In related news,
claims he invented the obscene hand gesture when his mother made him stop putting on her makeup in 1956.
No joke, supposedly will swim against a great white shark. It will be part of Discovery Channel’s Shark Week beginning July 23. The winner will face the winner of the Mayweather-McGregor fight. reportedly is trying to trademark the Gator Chomp, claiming he first used the gesture as Florida’s quarterback in 1967 when he wore makeup all season. This just in: the Knicks are reportedly trying to trade to the Cubs for two dead ivy leaves.
Scientists in the Czech Republic have identified an asteroid specifically targeted at anyone who spends $59.95 on a trading card.