Aunt uses “derogatory” British word.

Dear Amy: At some point in the last few years, my middle-aged aunt adopted a particular word to express mild annoyance. For example, when plans to meet up for Sunday brunch had to be canceled, she used this word. It is a word you hear occasionally in British films or TV shows, but I don't think it’s widely used in North America.

I've been suspicious that she doesn't know the origin or meaning of this word, and I assume she would be embarrassed if she said it in front of someone -- like a Brit -who did know and took offense. For context, I have never heard my gentle aunt say even the mildest expletive ("darn" is as close as she’s come to swearing), so I don’t think she’s aware of what she’s saying.

To be sure, I looked up the word, and it is deemed a "term of abuse," "derogatory," and is considered to be homophobic. I believe that my aunt would be horrified to know this, but I also do not want to police the words of those around me. How do I handle this?

Dear Concerned: Thank you for supplying the word in question, which I have redacted, for the reasons you state. To describe it: basically your non-swearing aunt is flinging the "F-bomb," with a (potentially) homophobic twist. The way to gently correct someone is to do so privately, one time only, and with no extra commentary. You might say to her, "I notice you occasion-ally say that word; have you ever looked up what it means?" She can then either ask you, or quietly look it up herself. Ultimately, she may relate that she heard Hugh Grant say it in a movie, and if he said it, it must be OK. A substitute expression she may adopt instead would be the milder (but still somewhat vulgar) "bollocks." I give it my stamp of approval, because I heard Idris Elba say it in a film, so it must be OK.

Dear Amy: OMG I shuddered when I read the letter from "Once and Future Girlfriend," whose boyfriend stole her car and was in jail for other offenses. I admit I was worried about how you might respond to this doozy. Thanks for suggesting various brands of sneakers she might wear for the fastest getaway. And when you suggested she and the jailbird's other girlfriend should "Thelma and Louise it," I laughed loud. I think a good rule is: if your guy steals your car, it’s a deal breaker.

Dear Fan: Let's get the T-shirt made!