Boyfriend’s one-night stand causes problems.
Dear Amy: I have been with my boyfriend for three years.
We were perfectly happy until recently when I received a message from a "friend of a friend," telling me that he cheated on me six months ago with a friend of mine.
I confronted him and he admitted to it and said it happened one time and that it was a mistake on a drunken night.
I also reached out to my friend, and she said the same thing.
Neither told me because they were too scared to — obviously — but my whole group of friends knew about this and said nothing.
He would like to work on our relationship, but it bothers me that he could lie to me for six months and act like everything was fine.
I want to give him another chance, but I feel stupid if I do because what's to say this won't happen again in the future?
Please help a lost girl. — Lost
Dear Lost: This would be a deal-breaker for some people, but only you can decide if you want to leave the relationship over this.
Your relationship can recover from infidelity, but only if you two use it as a way to deepen your intimacy and make a commitment to rebuilding trust.
Drunkenness is often used as an excuse for a regretful sexual encounter, but just one encounter can have extreme consequences for everyone, including pregnancy, STDs, and damaged relationships.
You should give everyone involved the benefit of your honest reaction to this.
Your boyfriend and your friend need to own up to their behavior, apologize to you, and ask for forgiveness.
Your boyfriend also needs to answer the question, "What's to say this won't happen again?"
If he blames his drinking for this betrayal, then he should definitely examine his drinking, as well as his character flaws.
Understand that trust is a choice.
Although you won't likely forget what happened, once you deal with it, you should work hard not to punish — and re-litigate — this episode every time you have a problem.