Hamlin’s view calls for underlying facts
Meet the world’s most underpaid athlete, at least according to
It’s . He does something so risky that females would never understand it, at least according to
Before I reveal what it is, I’d like to explain the methodology that determines “underpaid.” It’s the Hamlin Theorem, unveiled last week by NASCAR driver Denny H.
He said drivers should be making as much as football and basketball players because of the risks their sport entails.
“We are way underpaid as race drivers,” Hamlin said. “There’s no doubt, doing what we do, the schedule we have and the danger we incur every single week, NASCAR drivers should be making NBA, NFL money.”
Hamlin made $15.1 million in 2016, according to Forbes. That’s pretty good coin in any league.
He stressed that the top drivers aren’t underpaid, but the driving bourgeoisie is getting the salary shaft and deserve a bigger cut of NASCAR revenues. Therein lies the rub. Economics 101: NFL and NBA players are insanely overpaid because their sports generate crazy amounts of money. Danger does not factor in.
If it did, Sabba would make more than
The Guinness World Records announced last week that Sabba set a record for — drumroll, please — Most Underpants Pulled in 30 Seconds.
It now stands at 13, sports fans.
You purists may not realize underwear pulling is a sport, but it takes far more athletic ability than driving a car.
Sabba lays the underwear on a table, grabs them one by one and leaps legsfirst into them.
Just watching the Italian’s feat left me gasping for breath. Not only from the sheer physicality, but also from sheer terror.
This is where you women folk, as Newton might call you, could need a little mansplaining.
The underwear is being yanked up at approximately the speed of a Major League fastball. Imagine the force of cotton and spandex hurtling at such speeds.
If Sabba doesn’t hit the COMMENTARY brakes in time, the damage could be catastrophic.
“It may seem like a simple task,” Sabba told the Guinness reporter, “but this challenge has been pushed so far that the record has only ever been broken by one pair of underpants for each successful attempt.”
So with all due respect to NASCAR’s danger, Hamlin should get out of his cozy cockpit and try to do what our man Silvio does.
He’d find out who’s really underpaid.
Clemson’s football team. A car crashed near the practice fields Tuesday and slid down an embankment toward the Seneca River. Players and staff rushed over and several trainers swam across the river to assist the driver until EMS arrived.
Talk about a good excuse to get out of practice. He went full
mode when he laughed at female reporter for asking him about passing routes. Cam should go back to pulling a hoodie over his head and pouting at press conferences. Runner-up:
& Co. The local soccer stars got trashed and uppity at Epcot. I thought soccer fans, not players, were supposed to act like hooligans.
Runner-up II: NFL TV ratings, which are down 7 percent from the same period last year, and those were down 9 percent from 2015. It can’t all be
fault. Runner-up III: The Nevada parole board. Gads, it wasn’t just kidding when it said it would release
Today’s lead item was just an excuse to get into the Guinness World Records book for being the first human to use the terms “NASCAR” and “bourgeoisie” in the same sentence.
Talk about a foregone conclusion, 93 percent of NBA general managers predict Golden State will win the championship, according an NBA.com survey. Fifty percent say
will win the MVP, and 86 percent say that in order to endure the season Magic fans will need to drink like
at Epcot.
Ole Miss changed its mascot from Rebel the Bear to a Landshark last week. The other finalists in the student poll were a NCAA investigator and a
call girl. Oklahoma City is reportedly trying to trade
back to the Knicks for a pair of autographed underwear.
Based on winning percentages, the Cleveland Browns say they should be paid as much as