Dressing for Halloween in the office? Boo!
Dear Amy: I am not from India, but I had a traditional Indian shirt, called a kurta, made when I was invited to an Indian wedding. The shirt is made of Indian silk with gold embellishments.
Would it be appropriate to wear this shirt to a Halloween gathering at my office?
I know that there are some people from India working in the same building. — Colleague
Dear Colleague: No, this would not be appropriate; it would be appropriation.
You choosing to wear this beautiful shirt as a Halloween costume could be quite offensive.
I think that anyone wondering how to dress for an office-related Halloween gathering should just pick a character from the TV show “The Office,” and go with that.
Dear Amy: I’m a wife and mother of two. I do a lot of volunteer and activist work in my community.
Recently, I won an award for some of my activism. The ceremony where I would be recognized was during a brunch that cost $100 per person.
I am very close with my family and my husband’s family, so I invited all of them to attend and watch me receive my award.
My mother-in-law told me that, “One hundred dollars is nothing to see you be recognized for your work.”
My parents, however, hemmed and hawed about going and told me they would get back to me, as did my sister.
The next day, my sister called me and told me that she had spoken with my parents and they had decided not to go. “One hundred dollars is a lot to pay just to see you get an award”" she told me.
The evening after the brunch, I called my parents. Inside, I was feeling really sad that they had not been there for my important moment earlier that day.
Without prompting, my father immediately told me that he had made a big mistake and that they should have been at the brunch. I thanked him, but in fact, that made me feel worse.
I love my family and don’t want this to get in the way of our relationship. But, I’m having trouble letting go of my sadness about them not coming. —Sad in Suburbia
Dear Sad:
Regardless of the circumstances, they messed up and have apologized for it. You’ll feel better if you accept their apology.