Big battle: Eagles vs. Patriots
Dark Side will reign again in Super Bowl
“Patriot hate” may just be the Super Bowl’s big star. Find out which side our sports columnists favor and get a full scouting report.
Like a certain Stable Genius we all know, I am getting tired of winning.
Not just winning, but winning bigly, against my smallminded bald buddy and Orlando Sentinel wing man Mike Bianchi.
I’m working on my fourth consecutive Super Bowl pickscolumn victory over Bianchi, who at least found solace by winning our Fantasy Football league this season.
Props to the Big Mike Attack. But this is real stuff, Mikey, where you routinely get clobbered. You must be a masochist because you keep picking against the New England Patriots.
I get it. Everybody hates Bill Belichick. Everybody hates Tom Brady. Everybody hates the snotty Patriots.
There’s a reason for that: They love winning.
They took care of a potential Super Bowl snoozefest featur-
ing the Jacksonville Jaguars vs. the Philadelphia Eagles.
Yes, the Jags would have been a feel-good story for about two seconds before everyone realized this was a “marquee matchup” featuring Blake Bortles and Nick Foles.
Cue hot take from FOX Sports personality Colin Cowherd:
“I want you to think about that because a lot of times in life you do things, then you regret them. Jacksonville against Nick Foles. Two weeks of talk, that’s — that’s turning you on? Do you also go and watch the worst movie available at the theater?
“Do you go to the restaurant and order filet mignon, or do you say, ‘Do you guys have an E.coli burger? I’d like the salmonella.’ Really, you’re rooting for Jacksonville.”
He’s right, you know. That would have been as exciting as ice fishing, the big sport in Minnesota, lovely site of the Super Bowl, sponsored by thermal underwear and hard liquor this year.
It’s cold out there, everybody. But the Patriots — all together now — are on fire (or dare I say, “En Fuego?”)
Brady’s finger is fine. Rob Gronkowski will be out of the concussion protocol. Belichick is probably drawing up some nefarious game-plan in the confines of his hotel room because he’s not into ice fishing.
Result: The Patriots will put the Eagles in a deep freeze.
The Pats have plenty of incentive going beyond World Domination. It’s called World Domination on Steroids. They have 20 players looking for their third Super Bowl victory in the last four years. It’s also a sentimental swan song for coordinators Matt Patricia and Josh McDaniels.
Patricia is moving on to Detroit as the Lions head coach, and McDaniels will try his Andrew Luck with the Indianapolis Colts.
The Patriots are so good that the league has been forced to pick off assistants in hopes of recreating the magic, though that rarely happens.
This group is special. This group is unique.
This group is the Dark Side, which makes it much more fun to listen to all the whiny complaints.
You want X’s and O’s instead of taunts and hyperbole? OK.
The Patriots own the Eagles, having won four of their last five matchups, including a victory in Super Bowl XXXIX.
The Patriots are chasing history, going for their sixth Super Bowl victory in franchise history, which would tie them with the Pittsburgh Steelers for the most by any team.
The Patriots will have Gronk the Beast back after a hit by Barry Church sent him into concussion protocol during the AFC Championship Game. This is BIG. The Eagles ranked 20th in the NFL this season covering tight ends.
And lastly, a few side-byside comparisons:
The Patriots have Tom Brady. The Eagles have Nick Foles.
The Patriots have Bill Belichick. The Eagles have Doug Pederson.
The Patriots have Dion Lewis. The Eagles have Patriots castoff LeGarrette Blount.
Why are we even having this conversation?
No Magic for you again, Mike. #Fourpeat, baby! Book it.