Left out at lunch? Speak up and do something about it

the age of the former student and apply that era’s most common name.

Thus, once faced with the parent of a student from what she remembered as the “Stephen and Michael” period, she asked charmingly (she thought), “And how is Stephen now?”

“You mean Michael,” the parent replied coldly.

Miss Manners does not therefore recommend this approach.

Another of her mother’s attempts would be to say, “Didn’t you go by a nickname?” in the hope of receiving a reply such as, “No, I’ve always been Zachery. Not many people called me Zach.”

Of course, they could say, “Well, as you see, no one can call me Fatty any longer.” To which you would reply, “Do people address you formally now?” getting a response of, “No, they just call me Kevin.” was not invited to the ceremony, even though he and my daughter-in-law are paying to fly in to attend the wedding.

You are a young grandmother, Miss Manners gathers. And thus you do not remember that, far from being a new custom, this is an old one that has been abandoned for sensible reasons.

Before most weddings were the huge pageants they are today, it was not considered offensive to hold a small wedding ceremony and invite guests only to the reception. Or even to invite people to the ceremony, but not the reception. The guests lived in town, and were not devoting their entire day, much less vacation time, to the event.

But now so much more is expected of wedding guests in the way of time, money and travel that excluding them from the ceremony, which could involve stranding them in a strange town, seems insulting.

In

an effort to be a “true gentleman,” shouldn’t a man open the door for all ladies in his presence, be it the car door or any other door?

Yes, but good luck getting to the car door before the lady hops out.

Miss Manners guesses that a scarcity of gentlemen has taught ladies to fend for themselves — or spend the evening in the parking lot.