Dad goes all Liam Neeson over daughter’s pot fine

Dear Amy: My daughter is 19. Her boyfriend is 18.

Over the summer, they were busted for smoking marijuana in her car. The officer gave them the option of letting just one of them take the fall.

My daughter volunteered; I considered this a very bad decision. She said that she would take the citation and he would pay the fine. Well, the case has now been heard and it was plea bargained down to a lower offense, but it comes with probation and $700 in costs/attorney’s fees.

Her boyfriend has paid her $200. She says she is fine with that.

I am NOT fine with that. He’s well-off. She is broke, and is working while going to a local college. He’s off at a university, and I think she’s worried that if she makes a big deal about this, he’ll reconsider the relationship. But Amy, if she gets busted anytime in the next three years, her education is in jeopardy, while in his eyes this episode is over.

I’m thinking about sending him a text saying that he has a couple of weeks to pay up, or else I’ll pay a visit to his parents and tell them the story.

Is this too petty? Is this my business at all? She is an adult but she’s still my daughter, and I think she’s being taken advantage of.

Dear Angry: Your daughter “took the fall” for smoking marijuana in her car.

She was smoking. In her car. She got caught.

Your daughter’s own actions have jeopardized her financial and educational future, and she has accepted the consequences.

The way for her not to further jeopardize her future is to not get busted again. She should check to see if her record will be expunged after her probationary period is over.

Yes, if you want to end this relationship between your daughter and Richie Rich, then definitely send him a threatening text. Understand, however, that this will undermine your daughter’s own (so far) adult-like acceptance of her legal and financial penalty. She would also be rightfully very upset with you for interfering like a character from a Liam Neeson movie.

No, this is not your business, unless you are paying your daughter’s bills — and it doesn’t sound as if you are.

You should always encourage her to stand up for herself, including when someone owes her money.