10 years later, the nightmare has ended
Running off at the typewriter … It’s over.
It’s really over.
The decade-long Dwightmare is finally over.
It was 10 years ago when Dwight Howard forced his way out of Orlando and sent the Magic into a death spiral that has seen them lose more games any team in the league since 2012. Magic fans have been through misery, malaise, bad luck, bad draft picks, bad injuries and a series of rebuilds, rebuilt rebuilds and rebuilds of rebuilt rebuilds.
On Tuesday night, after the Magic won the NBA’s draft lottery, let us now officially declare the Dwightmare, the Dwight Blight, the Hennigan Hex — whatever you want to call it — to be over.
The Magic have won the draft lottery three other times in their history and each time they came away with a franchise-altering pick (Dwight, Shaq and Penny). That is why the Magic did everything possible to change their lottery luck on Tuesday night.
It started with Jeff Weltman, the president of basketball operations, making an 11th-hour decision to forgo being the on-stage team representative and instead sending head coach Jamahl Mosley to sit in front of the TV cameras. Why? Quite simply because Mosley said he felt lucky.
But, honestly, the lottery was won before Mosley ever made it to the stage for the TV show. You see, the real lottery is held about an hour-and-a-half before it’s shown on television. That’s when each lottery team sends a representative into a sequestered hotel ballroom where the lottery ping-pong balls actually are chosen. However, these team reps must hand over all electronic equipment and are not allowed out of the ballroom until the results of the lottery are revealed on national TV.
The Magic’s sequestered rep Tuesday night was chief communications officer Joel Glass, who had the lucky pingpong balls from the team’s prior lottery victories stashed away in his backpack. Yes, the same pingpong balls that were selected when former Magic GM, team co-founder and lucky charm Pat Williams showed up at the draft lottery and came home with Shaq, Penny and Dwight.
“We have a ping-pong ball farm out at Disney, and every so often, Tinker Bell comes around and sprinkles pixie dust on those ping-pong balls,” Williams told me once. “We haven’t needed one in a while, but, nevertheless, those magical ping-pong balls are still out there.”
And on this turning-point Tuesday night, another one finally and fatefully resurfaced, signaling a merciful end to a dreadful, decade-long Dwightmare. ...
Short stuff: A text message Wednesday morning from a Magic fan while I was talking on the radio about the team possibly using its No. 1 draft pick to take rail-thin Gonzaga center Chet Holmgren (7-foot, 195 pounds): “Is it too late to get him an NIL deal at Jimmy John’s?” … Another text from a cynical Magic fan: “The Lakers are already planning now on how to work our No. 1 pick into their lineup in 5 years!” … By the way, now comes my least favorite part of the NBA draft process — when fans and media members who watched about two weeks’ worth of college basketball during the NCAA Tournament become instant experts and tell Weltman who the Magic MUST take with the No. 1 overall pick. … I saw where they are finally replacing the dilapidated tennis courts at Tom Petty Park in Gainesville. You’re probably wondering why it’s taken decades for this to happen? Well, as T.P. himself once sang, “Love is a long road.” …
Orlando Magic forward Jonathan Isaac is being barbecued by left-leaning critics on social media for speaking at the pro-Trump “Reawaken America” Tour over the weekend. Come on, people, let’s not be hypocrites. Don’t say you love it when athletes such as LeBron James speak out on political and social issues but then rip Isaac for speaking out on political and social issues because you disagree with him. I absolutely hate it when right-wingers tell LeBron to “shut up and dribble” just as I hate it when left-wingers tell Isaac to “shut up and get healthy so you can dribble.” … Can you believe 73-year-old Ric Flair is getting back into the ring for one final pro wrestling match? I’m not saying Flair is too old for this sort of nonsense, but instead of saying “Woo!” when he gets into the squared circle, he should be saying, “Shoo! Get off my lawn!” …
From Dwight Perry of
The Seattle Times: “Rangers manager Chris Woodward decried Yankee Stadium as ‘a Little League ballpark’ after his team gave up a game-winning homer to the short right-field porch. Yankees manager Aaron Boone just smiled as he licked his postgame ice cream with the boys at Dairy Queen.” … Tiger Woods had some stern words for Phil Mickelson earlier this week concerning Lefty’s controversial backing of the new Saudibased golf league. After all Tiger has been through in his career, I’m just wondering if he broke anything in his glass house while throwing stones at Phil. …
Last word: The last time we saw inflation like this was back in 1979 when longtime Birmingham News sports writer Jimmy Bryan came up with this great lead after Alabama beat Vanderbilt 66-3: “Inflation killed the Vanderbilt Commodores on Saturday. Once the ball was inflated, they were dead.”