Orlando Sentinel

Begging Congress to legislate NIL is pathetic

- Mike Bianchi

Running off at the typewriter … Cue the clown music, please. College sports representa­tives once again went before the U.S. Senate earlier this week for a hearing on Name, Image and Likeness (NIL) and the future compensati­on of college athletes.

And what exactly came out of it? About what we expected —– just another dog-and-pony show with politician­s grandstand­ing before the cameras while derelict-in-their-duties college administra­tors begged Congress to do the job they should be doing themselves.

The highlights, er, lowlights: Democratic Sen. Joe Manchin of West Virginia saying, “It’s hard to root for the kids when they’re multi-millionair­es as freshmen and sophomores.” Of course, Manchin himself is a multi-millionair­e who has used his political office to protect and enhance his family’s scrap-coal business.

As far as Manchin saying, “It’s hard to root,” for freshmen and sophomores getting lucrative deals, Matt Baker of the Tampa Bay Times sarcastica­lly tweeted: “Which explains why profession­al sports are so beloved. Rookies work for free.”

Meanwhile, Republican Sen. Josh Hawley took the opportunit­y to grill recently appointed NCAA president Charlie Baker on the hot-button political issue of transgende­r athletes — even though the hearing really had nothing to do with transgende­r athletes.

Isn’t it sad that college leaders are so weak and fractured that they want a bunch of equally weak-and-fractured politician­s — most of whom are ignorant about the inner workings of college athletics — to legislate their sport? Can you imagine the leaders of any other multi-billion-dollar corporatio­n essentiall­y saying to Congress, “Hey, guys, we’re so bad at our jobs that we want you to run our business for us.”

The only politician who said anything that made any sense during the Senate hearing was Sen. John Kennedy (R-La.), who told Baker and the other college leaders: “I’d be real careful about inviting Congress to micromanag­e your business.” …

Short stuff: I just saw where the Orlando Magic’s long-awaited $500 million sports and entertainm­ent complex across the street from Amway Center will start being built in 2024. I’m not saying it takes the Magic a long time to build things (like a decent basketball team), but I’m estimating this project should be

completed by 2050. … Did you see where struggling Osceola County-based Tupperware just fired its CEO Miguel Fernandez? I’m guessing that like most of the Tupperware lids in my bottomleft kitchen cabinet, Fernandez just wasn’t a good fit. … Question: What has less forward progress — the Tampa Bay Bucs’ running game or a snail on a treadmill? … And speaking of inanimate objects, did you see where South Carolina coach Shane Beamer admitted to breaking his foot by angrily kicking an unidentifi­ed object after the Gators rallied from 10 down to beat his Gamecocks Saturday? Hey, I give Beamer credit for admitting to his stupidity. Haven’t all of us bad golfers been in Beamer’s state of mind after a sliced drive and thought to ourselves that those damn solid wood tee markers needed to be taught a good lesson in table manners? …

I just read where a rare Florida songbird — The Bachman’s warbler — was declared extinct earlier this week. In related news, so was Mario Cristobal’s clock-management skills! … In limited minutes during the preseason, the Magic’s Jonathan Isaac has looked like his old defensive-maven self. Here’s hoping — knock on wood — J.I. can stay healthy. … Quote of the Week I from Syracuse coach Dino Babers after FSU’s athletical­ly freakish receiver Keon Coleman shredded the Orange: “God was showing off when He made him.” … Quote of the Week II: Stanford offensive lineman Fisher Anderson in a tweet after the Cardinal rallied from a 29-0 halftime road deficit to beat Coach Prime’s Colorado team in double overtime. “Good always wins out, no matter how bleak it looks. When [Stanford] Coach [Troy] Taylor got hired, he told everyone to stay and believe; Coach Prime told everyone to leave. We are program builders; they are mercenarie­s.” Booyah! …

UCF quarterbac­k John Rhys Plumlee was sporting a new beard earlier this week and was debating whether to keep it or shave it. If UCF shocks the world and somehow upsets No. 6-ranked Oklahoma, JRP should not only keep the current facial hair, the whole team should grow Z.Z. Top beards. … Before the season, I said that UF transfer quarterbac­k Graham Mertz was about as exciting to Gators fans as Fred Mertz — the frumpy, bald character on the old “I Love Lucy” show. Now I’m banging the drum for Graham Mertz like Ricky Ricardo pounding his conga and singing “Babalu.”… And speaking of old sitcoms, a moment of silence, please: Suzanne Somers has gone to That Crowded Three-Bedroom Apartment in the Sky. …

Former Gators QB Anthony Richardson played in five NFL games this season for the Indianapol­is Colts, was knocked out of three of those games with three different injuries and now is out for the season with a bum shoulder. Sadly, I fear A.R.’s body has the speed and strength of an oncoming locomotive but the fragility of a butterfly’s wings. … My drinking buddy Buford says, “Tyreek Hill is so fast that the radar gun just reads ‘wtf.’ ”… I miss Wayne Peace. … This week’s Super 6 NFL Power Index, according to the BCS (Bianchi Charting System): (1) Taylor Swift’s new movie, (2) Miami Dolphins, (3) Kansas City Chiefs, (4) San Francisco 49ers, (5) Detroit Lions, (6) Philadelph­ia Eagles. … This week’s Super 6 BCS College Football Power Index: (1) Shane Beamer’s temper, (2) Florida State, (3) Washington, (4) Georgia, (5) Ohio State, (6) Oklahoma. … Mikey likes: Oklahoma over UCF by 24, FSU over Duke by 10, Miami over Clemson by 4 in Upset Special, Dolphins over Eagles by 5 in Upset Special II, Bucs over Falcons by 3, Saints over Jaguars by 4, The Bachman’s warbler over the Dodo by three (tears) on the extinct-bird sadness meter. …

Last word: From David Whitley of the Gainesvill­e Sun: “Wilt Chamberlai­n played almost every second of the 1961-62 season. He missed only the last eight minutes of a game he was tossed out of and averaged 48.5 minutes a game. Anthony Davis strained three muscles just reading that stat.”

 ?? MARIAM ZUHAIB/AP ?? College representa­tives are sworn in this week during a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing to examine athlete compensati­on and the future of college sports.
MARIAM ZUHAIB/AP College representa­tives are sworn in this week during a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing to examine athlete compensati­on and the future of college sports.

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