‘There is hope in parenting behind bars’
MARYSVILLE, OHIO >> Leah Howard stood on a stage in the middle of a prison recreation yard and told the hundreds of women sitting in the rain and staring up at her that this was their time — their time to learn how to be a better mom, their time to focus on their children like never before, their time to heal.
“There is hope in parenting behind bars,” Howard told the women who are incarcerated at the Ohio Reformatory for Women. “The best thing you can do right now is get yourself together because what your kids need is a mommy who’s whole.”
Spread out in front of her, the women seated in plastic chairs, at picnic tables and some even standing along the walls of the nearby buildings, used their sleeves as Kleenex and wiped their eyes with the collars of their shirts because the tears simply wouldn’t stop flowing. Tears of sadness for the children they miss, and tears of joy for the second chance they’ve been given to be a good parent.
The Saturday morning gathering held in the prison’s rec yard — under gloomy skies and intermittent rain — was “Angel Tree Parent Day” and was put on by the national nonprofit Prison Fellowship’s Angel Tree ministry in coordination with Rock City Church out of Columbus. It was the first in-person event with outsiders at the prison since the COVID pandemic began in March 2020.
The women clearly enjoyed the visitors who brought with them a Christian message of hope and a pep-rally-style cast of speakers. Five members of 216 Stix, the Cleveland Cavaliers’ drumline, kicked off the morning event with a performance that had the whole yard cheering and applauding.
But then things got serious as speakers took turns telling the women stories of how critical it is to stay connected with their children while they are incarcerated and how important it is to help their children connect to a church on the outside who can love and support them.
Message from Living Word Church: Tell your children that you love them
Howard, from Living Word Church in Vandalia, introduced herself to the women as former inmate A1735. A decade ago this month, she was in their place at the reformatory starting a four-year sentence for shooting her husband.
She cried as she spoke of her youngest daughter, who was just 7 when Howard went to prison, and how her son nearly lost his life in a truck crash while she was incarcerated.
She told the women that the Bible verse “you reap what you sow’ will maybe never be more true for them than now.
“When you’re sowing and loving on people in here, you ask God and others to care for your kids out there,” Howard said. “They need you to write them and tell them you love them because all they hear is negativity. And sometimes the only thing we can do for our kids is pray.”
The event was part of an expansion of Prison Fellowship’s Angel Tree ministry, which currently provides a hand-delivered Christmas gift and a gospel message to the children of incarcerated parents who sign up, said Richard Swiger, the ministry’s director of Ohio field operations.
“The women know that Angel Tree can take their child a gift,” Swiger said, “but what we want them to know is that the relationship with the ministry can be so much more than that. It can help bridge the gap between the parent and child while they’re separated.”
Dave Stewart, youth pastor for Rock City Church, told the women that the church will always be there to support their children but that the pastors and volunteers at Saturday’s event were there with just one message, really.
“You matter. You have value,” he told them. “You matter to God and you matter to us.”
Those three simple sentences kicked off another wave of fresh tears.
Ohio prisons director reminds incarcerated women that ‘hope is job one’
And even though by then drizzle had turned into a full-on rain, none of the women headed back to their bunks but instead stayed in their seats and wrapped themselves in clear plastic garbage bags that prison staff had hurriedly distributed. They were into this message, and it seemed no one wanted to leave.
Among those on hand to encourage them was Annette M. Chambers-Smith, the director of the Ohio Department of Rehabilitation and Correction.
“This kind of program thrills me because hope is job one,” she told them. “We believe in parenting while incarcerated. You didn’t cease to be a parent when you came in here. Love. That’s what children need. They just need love and you have it.”
Angel Tree volunteers passed out brochures with tips on how to foster connections with children — things such as how to ask the right questions about their interests, how to become a long-distance “coach” for their sports, how to have a better relationship with the kids’ caregiver.
Vanessa Franklin, national director of operations for Prison Fellowship and a formerly incarcerated woman herself, reminded the woman that their situation without their children is temporary and that those who seek to support their children on the outside are a valuable resource.
“Sisters, no one wants to take your place and no one can,” Franklin told them. “We’re in this season for a moment. This moment is going to pass ... and our children will be stronger for it.”