Flyin’ high after kicking old habits
I gave up drinking caffeinated coffee when I was 24 years old. I don’t remember now what prompted me to kick my caffeine addiction cold turkey but I did.
At the time I had a friend who remarked that giving up caffeine would be, for her, like giving up the world’s best lover. A bit over the top, I thought but she wasn’t the only one who said, in essence, what a hardship giving up the stimulant would be for them.
I don’t remember it actually being that big of a deal to give it up so have never understood others’ addiction. I haven’t missed it. In fact, I rarely think about not having it except when I order a coffee drink that’s decaffeinated, sugar free and nonfat and people jest calling it a “what’s the point?” or “no fun” drink.
So other than chocolate and the occasional diet cola I haven’t had any caffeine for 36 years.
This week, however, I broke my three decadeslong caffeine hiatus … by accident.
Every night before I go to bed, I set up the coffee maker so all my beloved husband has to do in the morning is press the button to make his caffeinated coffee. It’s a pre-bed ritual like washing my face, applying moisturizer and brushing my teeth. I do it by rote, habit, with muscle memory and no thought whatsoever.
Wednesday night was no different except that my husband was out of town so I set the coffee maker up for myself for Thursday morning. It was lovely to get up, push the button, go feed all my creatures great and small and come back to a kitchen filled with the aroma of coffee and a fresh batch ready and waiting for me.
I drank it with my usual dab of half and half while I read the news and checked my emails and finishing it went on about my day.
I usually hit a slight energy slump around 3 p.m. but not that day. I was still brimming with energy at 3 p.m., 5 p.m., 7 p.m. and by 10 p.m. I was zipping around the house doing light cleaning.
“Wow! This is amazing,” I thought. “It must be the yoga I’m doing now in the morning. It really boosts my energy.” At 11 p.m. still wide awake but feeling like I should follow my evening ritual and start getting ready for bed, I realized, when I opened the cupboard to prep the next morning’s coffee that it wasn’t the yoga but rather the coffee I consumed that morning. I’d, out of habit, made my husband’s full-bodied, fully caffeinated, Italian roast instead of my fullbodied, decaffeinated, Major Dickenson roast and consumed it all.
I was, as they say, still “jacked up” but, convinced there was no way the effects of caffeine could last that long, I Googled “how long does it take for caffeine to flush out of your system?” The answer was “10 hours.” But, but, but it had been 16 hours since I’d consumed the legal stimulant and I was still flyin’ high.
“Why oh why oh why would anyone do this to themselves intentionally?” I thought as I chugged a quart of water which, was one of the suggestions I found on line when I looked for tips to get rid of a coffee high. The other was to take some vitamin C so I did that too. It also recommended exercise so I grabbed a flashlight and went for a midnight walk. I walked until the effects of the quart of water sent me back to the house and bathroom.
I drank more water. I drank a large cup of sleepy herbal tea. I practiced deep breathing. I tried to meditate for calm but I was twitchy and my brain, my inner software was chattering away so I went for another walk. I pulled out the ladder and picked oranges by flashlight. I mopped the floors. I drank more water. I dusted everything that would stand still in the entire house. I drank some more sleepy tea this time with a shot of whiskey. I used the bathroom again and again and again. I gave all three dogs a bath and blow dry. (They were not happy campers).
And just when I was starting to feel calm and tired, my alarm went off so I made myself some decaf, fed all creatures great and small and wrote this column. Then, I took a much needed nap after reaffirming my vow to never drink caffeinated coffee again.