New coach rises above other can­di­dates

Packer Plus - - NEWS - NFL Grapevine Mike Hart Mil­wau­kee Jour­nal Sen­tinel USA TO­DAY NET­WORK – WIS.

All eyes were on the chim­ney at 1265 Lom­bardi Ave.

Then the green and gold smoke came out sig­nal­ing a new coach had been selected.

Mark Mur­phy has gone with of­fense at the end of this process. And, as you know, you have to trust the process.

Matt LaFleur was the big win­ner. The Ten­nes­see Ti­tans of­fen­sive co­or­di­na­tor is con­sid­ered an of­fen­sive in­no­va­tor. Well, he’ll have to be in­no­va­tive if DeShone Kizer (Brett Hund­ley Part Deaux) has to take snaps next sea­son.

A lot of guys tossed their head­sets into the ring, but LaFleur beat ’em all. Some peo­ple thought with a name like LaFleur, he should be ap­ply­ing to coach the Mon­treal Cana­di­ens.

And oth­ers thought the odds of him be­com­ing the new coach of the Green Bay Pack­ers were about as good as you hav­ing your Christ­mas dec­o­ra­tions down by now.

So lets take a look at the lineup LaFleur beat out, shall we?

And, more im­por­tantly, why they lost. Josh McDaniels: Many thought he was the front-run­ner. He never lost a game in In­di­anapo­lis. But if he got sworn in, Tim Te­bow prob­a­bly would have been Green Bay’s start­ing quar­ter­back next sea­son.

Adam Gase: He brought Jay Cut­ler out of re­tire­ment. That re­ally didn’t look good on his re­sume.

Pat Fitzger­ald: This fel­low would rather keep coach­ing smart young men at North­west­ern. He could have made more money yelling at guys who make bone­headed plays all the time.

Chuck Pagano: He’s an old-school coach. Ap­par­ently Mur­phy didn’t want to see the Pack­ers run the sin­gle-wing.

Jim Cald­well: He’s a con­sul­tant to the re­vived XFL. De­spite that con­nec­tion, the Pack­ers prob­a­bly couldn’t get “He Hate Me.”

Brian Flores: He’s a de­fen­sive guy. Af­ter watch­ing film of the Pack­ers’ pass rush, he may have with­drawn from the race.

Todd Monken: This man was Tampa Bay’s of­fen­sive co­or­di­na­tor. That fact may have got­ten lost in Ryan Fitz­patrick’s beard.

Dan Camp­bell: He has spent a lot of time in New Or­leans. He wouldn’t have un­der­stood that Pack­ers fans don’t serve Jam­bal­aya, Muf­fulet­tas and Bananas Fos­ter at their tail­gate par­ties.

Mike Mun­chak: His ca­reer record is 22-26-0. OK, why is he linked to ev­ery coach­ing va­cancy? Ask­ing for a friend.

Pete Carmichael Jr.: Carmichael is the New Or­leans of­fen­sive co­or­di­na­tor, but he doesn’t call the plays. That’s good work if you can get it.

Joe Philbin: Los­ing at home by 31 points to the Li­ons pretty much math­e­mat­i­cally elim­i­nated him.

Mike McCarthy: He had a shot at it. The Yan­kees re­hired Billy Martin a zil­lion times, ya know.

Fear­less fore­casts

In­di­anapo­lis at Kansas City: The Colts are hot­ter than a streaker in the Flam­ing Moun­tains of China. But Pa­trick Ma­homes is hot­ter than that. Chiefs 38, Colts 20.

Los An­ge­les Charg­ers at New Eng- land: Never give Bill Belichick two weeks to pick out a hoodie. Pa­tri­ots 24, Charg­ers 21.

Dal­las at Los An­ge­les Rams: Ezekiel El­liott can tote the hog­blad­der. The Rams can’t stop any­one who can do that. As Gomer Pyle used to say, “Sur­prise, sur­prise, sur­prise!” Cow­boys 35, Rams 30.

Philadel­phia at New Or­leans: Nick Foles may be Mr. Jan­uary, but Drew Brees will still be play­ing in Fe­bru­ary. Saints 38, Ea­gles 27.

Vine­lines

Steve Rosen­bloom, for­mer Chicago Tri­bune colum­nist: “Is the Ryan Pace who guar­an­teed Cody Parkey $9 mil­lion the same Ryan Pace who’s sup­posed to be Ex­ec­u­tive of the Year?”...

Nor­man Chad, syn­di­cated colum­nist: “If they used re­play in 1776, we might still be un­der Bri­tish rule.”...

Scott Ostler of the San Fran­cisco Chron­i­cle: “For a few mo­ments last Sun­day, it was like the 49ers and the Raiders, play­ing 1,630 miles apart, were liv­ing in par­al­lel uni­verses. Call it the Murky Way. In the sec­ond quar­ter of the games be­ing played si­mul­ta­ne­ously, the 49ers trailed the Rams, 21-3, in Los An­ge­les and had com­mit­ted four turnovers, and the Raiders trailed, 21-3, at Kansas City and had com­mit­ted four turnovers. Syn­chro­nized suck­age.”...

Den­nis Miller, fun­ny­man: “Bal­ti­more’s game plan was so con­ser­va­tive, John Har­baugh threat­ened to shut down the wild card game if Roger Good­ell doesn’t build a bor­der wall.”

Dwight Perry of the Seat­tle Times: “Charg­ers guard For­rest Lamp gave each of his team­mates — drum roll, please — lamps for Christ­mas. Un­for­tu­nately for the Pack­ers, Davon House didn’t think of it first.”...

Pablo Torre of ESPN, not im­pressed with the Li­ons coach boast­ing a de­gree in aero­nau­ti­cal en­gi­neer­ing: “Matt Pa­tri­cia seems to be­long to the Wile E. Coy­ote school of rocket sci­ence.”...

Steel­ers tight end Jesse James on all the drama sur­round­ing the team this sea­son: “Ah man, we are — Kar­dashi­ans.”

From Packer Plus wire re­ports and other news sources. Send emails to [email protected]­nalsen­tinel.com

AS­SO­CI­ATED PRESS

White smoke is blown out of the chim­ney of the Sis­tine Chapel at the Vat­i­can, when a new Pope is elected. The Pack­ers chose their 15th head coach from a long list of ap­pli­cants on Mon­day af­ter­noon.

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