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Get­ting the recog­ni­tion I de­serve in The Sims 4: Sea­sons

PC GAMER (US) - - CONTENTS - EMMA DAVIES

I’ve never thought of The Sims 4 as a game with a win state, so af­ter count­less hours in the game, per­haps it’s time to cre­ate my own. Pre­vent a sim’s wife from catch­ing him in the act with Margery from next door? A shal­low pur­suit. De­vise a man­ner in which to kill the most an­noy­ing mem­ber of the fam­ily? I worry I’m on some kind of watch­list by now. Keep ev­ery­one fed, en­ter­tained, and well rested? What am I, their mom? No, I am their cre­ator— a gen­er­ous yet capri­cious over­lord di­rect­ing my min­ions like pieces on a chess board—and I’d re­ally rather like to be wor­shipped as the all-pow­er­ful be­ing I fancy my­self to be. En­ter the Sea­sons ex­pan­sion. It adds weather pat­terns, with en­ter­tain­ing con­se­quences. One bleak win­ter’s day led to a se­ries of deaths in my neigh­bor­hood: One sim froze to death out­side the gym, and ev­ery­one in the vicin­ity ran out in their work­out gear to mourn and met the same fate. More use­ful to me, how­ever, are the hol­i­days. There’s the po­lit­i­cally cor­rect Win­ter­fest, cap­i­tal­ist bo­nanza Re­bate Day, and an­nual smoochathon Love Day, but also the op­por­tu­nity to add cus­tom events. Get out your di­aries, guys: It’s time for Emma Ap­pre­ci­a­tion Day.

This is, essen­tially, Christ­mas for my own ego. I’ve placed the hol­i­day on the first Sun­day in sum­mer, echo­ing my own July birth­day. The decor in­volves a lot of hearts, to show just how much these plebs adore me. The first tra­di­tion? Thank­ful­ness, be­cause gosh darn it, that is what I ex­pect from my sims. Also eat­ing grand meals and open­ing presents, as

Ad­mit­tedly, kids seem nonplussed by the af­fair, the brats

these are among my fa­vorite things. I’ve also added in ‘fire’, as a neb­u­lous tra­di­tion that I feel serves to re­mind them just how quickly I can take away what I have given.

My sims trade the pal­try items that hap­pen to be in their in­ven­to­ries, they share anec­dotes about how grate­ful they are for Emma Ap­pre­ci­a­tion Day and gorge them­selves into co­mas over break­fast. Ad­mit­tedly, kids seem nonplussed by the af­fair, the brats. Wouldn’t it be a shame if their fa­vorite toys were to van­ish overnight?

Sea­son’s beat­ings

Okay, it may not be the most child-friendly of cel­e­bra­tions: As dusk falls, the cer­e­mo­nial bon­fire is set alight, and by its il­lu­mi­na­tion a cheer­ful-by-na­ture sim en­ters into a bout of fren­zied wrestling and hair-pulling with her oth­er­wise lov­ing hus­band. Hmm, per­haps she saw more of his shenani­gans with Margery from next door than I’d thought. Still, every­body has had a mar­velous time—es­pe­cially me.

As Kanye once said: I am a god. This is the whole ap­peal of The Sims; bring­ing forth life, con­trol­ling it, and choos­ing when to end it. So while you could cer­tainly claim that Emma Ap­pre­ci­a­tion Day is a mon­u­ment to my own self-re­gard (and I wouldn’t dis­sent), it’s the purest rep­re­sen­ta­tion of the se­ries’ spirit. My sims have spent an en­tire day wor­ship­ping me. I think I might have won.

THIS MONTH Courted adu­la­tion from an­i­mated hu­mans. ALSO PLAYED SimCity

Fa­cepalm­ing over the fact they’re freez­ing to death and too dumb to re­al­ize.

A fire and a fight—all the hall­marks of a great night out.

Pretty sure it’s me who ought to be re­ceiv­ing the gifts here, guys.

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