ASSHOLE!

To the douchebag who smashed through my garden wall last night, expect to be hearing from my lawyer. Not only have you wrought unholy destruction on my prize-winning petunias (a seventh place rosette in this summer's Ambleside in Bloom flower show and tombola, no less), you've proven my unenlightened neighbors correct in their claims that stacking 'bricks' made of polystyrene packing peanuts wrapped in gaffer tape does not a wall make. Rubbish, I say! From a distance of a mile or so out, the effect was INDISTINGUISHABLE from a real stone wall—until some inconsiderate loser went and drove through the bloody thing. an - Barkley Flummox, Ambleside