“Leaderboard rivalries are called ‘friendships’ in 2021”
The ennui of staring at better players’ scores in HITMAN 3’ s leaderboards
Three minutes and three seconds. That’s Phil Savage’s time in the Dubai level of Hitman 3. The closing chapter in IO Interactive’s trilogy only recently launched, and I’m fifth out of the seven friends I’ve accumulated on the Epic Games Store for the purposes of comparing leaderboard scores. I’ll never beat Phil’s score in Dubai. I’ll never beat former PC Gamer writer and game developer Tom Francis, either. I’m filled with shame.
My friend Dave, though, is at the bottom of the leaderboard with a score that’s around a third of mine. Ha! Good old Dave. He always knows just how to cheer me up. Leaderboard rivalries are what we call friendships in 2021.
The problem is, I’ve wiped my progress in Hitman 3 and I’m starting again. I played the game before release, being in the privileged position that I am to receive review code, and I knocked through all the levels in story mode pretty quickly. By importing my Hitman 2 progress, however—where I waged a leaderboard war with Phil back in 2018—my Hitman 3 progress has been reset. And now I’m crawling back to the top, bit by bit, with every costume swap and new starting point in each level taking me closer to number one. I won’t get there. I’m too tired to be competitive in 2021.
I’m reminded of the guy in The Wire who gets out of jail after many years, tries to get back into drug dealing, then realizes it’s become a game dominated by younger, hungrier entrepreneurs. Instead, he picks a different path and forms a youth club where kids can take up boxing. Maybe that’s what I should do instead of trying to beat Phil.
The levels in this game are great, and amazing in a couple of cases— Dartmoor’s immersive murder mystery is dazzling the first time, and it’s a top level to try and optimize in subsequent playthroughs. Mendoza, a giant Argentina-set stage where Agent 47 can infiltrate a Bond lair-style locale which is hidden by a vineyard, is one of the best levels of the entire trilogy. It’s so big, though, that I’m struggling to get really good at bringing my time down in that one.
HIT ME UP
That said, the magic of Hitman is that even its most sprawling levels seem to shrink in your mind the more you play. They go from feeling intimidating to cosy, like locations in real life that you love revisiting.
I haven’t gotten this comfortable with Hitman 3’ s levels yet. But I have a plan. When everyone loses interest in Agent 47 during the summer, I’ll have spent months mastering Dubai—and that’s when I’ll beat
Phil’s three minutes and three seconds score, tweeting him at the dead of night with a screenshot of our times to let him know the deed has been done. How embarrassing! For me.
THE LEVELS IN THIS GAME ARE GREAT, AND AMAZING IN A COUPLE OF CASES