Boyfriend Dungeon
A dating sim where you romance deadly weapons
Dating sims are weird. I’ve courted pigeons, wholesome fathers, monster prom hopefuls, ’90s velociraptors, sacrificial goats, Colonel Sanders, and now, thanks to Kitfox Games, I can date hot people that can transform into deadly weapons. What a world we live in.
BoyfriendDungeon combines dating sim mechanics with hack-n-slash dungeon crawling, the idea being you meet human hotties and then use their transformational powers to fight monsters. The game’s title focuses on boyfriends, but you can also date women and non-binary folk if you prefer.
You also pick your own pronouns, making for a super-inclusive take on the genre, which is what we like to see. The only thing that stays the same across all games is your character being a big ball of dating anxiety. Hopefully, a few outings with some sword people should sort that out.
After creating my character, I arrive in Verona Beach and am met by Jesse, my cousin who I apparently haven’t seen in ten years. After a few pleasantries, he cuts to the chase and says he’s already set me up with a sword friend of his called Issac, a business professional with a passion for dueling. He says it’s totally not a date but just a super casual ‘combat lesson’ to show me the ropes of dungeon crawling. Sure Jesse, whatever you say.
Jesse described Isacc as ‘straightedged’, and he wasn’t joking. When I meet him, he’s in weapon form, an épée with a long, thin blade with a sharp tip. The combat, though is not as sharp as I’d hoped. It’s functional enough, but dodging and attacking feels a little clunky. Isaac’s attacks focus on being light on your feet and keeping distance from the enemy, but I’m someone who likes to get right into the thick of combat. Maybe there’s a hot broadsword somewhere in this town?
GREED DATING
The dungeon we’re in is an abandoned mall and all the monsters take the shape of your deepest psychological fears. My character is apparently scared of intimacy through technology, so the mall is filled with snapping flip phones and floating television sets. Seems a little weird but I don’t question it—it’s the least strange thing in a game where I’m trying to romance swords.
We’re not in the dungeon for long when we meet another sword: a sharp, curved blade called Sunder, who’s unfortunately trapped in a chained box. We release him and he transforms back into his human form: a shirtless man with long, tousled brown hair that makes it look like he’s constantly in front of a wind machine.
After getting my butt kicked in the dungeon, I’m taken back to my apartment. I’ve not even been awake for a minute before my phone blows up; Jesse is desperate to know how the ‘not date’ went, Issac wants to organize another training session, Sunder is asking me to drop by his club, and my mum demands an update on my love life, only a day after arriving here. Can’t a girl catch a break?
Meeting up with characters and going on dates is important for levelling up each weapon’s ‘love rank’, letting you unlock more abilities. So far, I’ve only met a small handful of the plenty of other characters in town—one of which is Pocket the cat, who can turn into a pair of brass knuckles.
Although I wish the combat sections weren’t such a chore, my first two hours with BoyfriendDungeon have been fun. I’m definitely leaning more towards Valeria as my one true hottie, although it is hard to resist the lure of a feline that makes me better at punching.
THE LEAST STRANGE THING IN A GAME WHERE I’M TRYING TO ROMANCE SWORDS