Now, who is it who talks ‘funny’?

Right early in my life I remember resolving not to say this to other people, not because it didn’t describe a difference in the way people say things, but because so often when I heard it, it was being said in a teasing or ridiculing way, as a put down, or with an attitude of ‘I’m so obviously better than you because your way of talking is so strange to me.’

It also occured to me that no matter how we talk, we will encounter some people to whom our way of saying things is “strange” or “quaint.” Another thought I had, was that the commonly accepted and commonly practiced speech was different for different parts of the country. I couldn’t expect someone from Chicago to just suddenly know how to talk in Ozark. I thought it was to be expected that when we go to Chicago or St. Louis, we will sound like we talk funny. One thing that the northern people seemed slow to understand was that when they come to the Ozarks, they become the ones who talk funny, not us native Ozarkians. Ozark is a perfectly useful language, and you ain’t dumb just because you say ain’t instead of isn’t.

So much of language is in sounds that we become accustomed to. This is an area where I am uncomfortable with efforts to have us speaking only in what we call politically correct speech. It seems to me that just as language itself changes and shifts as time passes, we will have a hard time finding words that are just right and acceptable and will always remain so. For example we have a popular lady on TV cooking shows who is in trouble because someone found out that years ago she used the “N” word. People don’t seem to be asking what she meant by it back then, or how people commonly used it back then, or what attitude it expressed toward people of African descent back then. I don’t know just how she used it then, and I am not necessarily defending how she said it back then, but it is of concern that people may be using today’s meanings attached to words, as though those meanings and implications held true back then, no matter what the speaker was thinking or intending back then.

I think different regional pronunciations of words compares to differences in how you spell names. For example, my name is Nichols, but you can find the name spelled Nickols, Nicols, Nikols, Nickels and so on. Those spellings are not necessarily wrong, they are just different. Some people seem to take the attitude that if you say “ain’t,” you’re ignorant. I claim that ain’t so! I think I have known people who said “ain’t” who were really smart and wise, and I have known people who said “isn’t” and “aren’t” and they were still ignern’t. What are you going to do with the person who speaks northeast American who can sell computers, but who knows nothing about how to repair them or how to write software for them, when you compare him to the Arkie or the Okie who can write computer software programs and can troubleshoot and repair them? Just who is smart and who is ignern’t?

For the most part, in the Ozark language, and in the Texas language, too, we retained spellings that were common in other parts of the country, we just pronounced things differently. One of the prominent differences was in how we said words that were spelled with “i-r-e” — words such as fire, tire, wire, hire, dire or mire. In Ozark, “ire” is pernounced “AHR,” with the sound of the letter R. So, fire is pernounced FAHR. A fire station is a FAHR stayshun. Those rubber things on your car wheels are TAHRS. Also, a tower is a TAHR, and a harrow is a HAHRAH. Some of the 1930s cars had WAHR wheels, but it wudn’t the TAHRS that wus WAHR, the wheels theirselves had these WAHRS a-goin’ ever’ which-a-way in there. The wheels ‘uz made ‘ith steel WAHRS ‘n all! This “AHR” sound was very useful and very widely applied in Ozark talk.

Another place where it showed up was in the appliance used for ironing clothes — that was an AHRN. They wuz stovetop AHRNS, and steam AHRNS, and later on we had ‘lectric AHRNS. And many thaings used to be made out of cast AHRN. Cast AHRN stuff was pretty good, but it ‘uz brittle and easy to bust, and you cudd’n weld it back when it got busted. If you had too much to do, you might go HAHR somebody t’ HEP ye.

Ozark talk also had several expressions beginning with “a” I’m thinking of “I’m a-fixin’ to” (getting ready to), “I’m a-wishin’ I could,” “I’m a-gettin’ around to,” “I’m a-needin’ a-noth’rn” (I am needing another one). Also, there was “I’m a-plowin’ today” or “I’m a-rakin’ hay.”

Sometimes Ozark expressions had a rhyme or reason, sometimes not.

••• Editor’s note: Jerry Nichols, a native of Pea Ridge, is an award-winning columnist, a retired Methodist minister with a passion for history. He is vice president of the Pea Ridge Historical Society. He can be contacted by e-mail at joe369@centurytel.net, or call 621-1621.