Giving thanks always for all things

“Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Ephesians 5:20

“In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18

“… supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men; for kings and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty.” 1 Timothy 2:1-2

It’s Thanksgiving, a holiday that is traditionally spent with family, eating too much turkey and dressing and too many sweets, visiting, trying to see all the relatives. This year, all my children and their families will gather at my house. Most of them are grown now and have offered (actually demanded) to bring portions of the feast. The burdens are shared, thereby lightened.

As the children have grown up, moved out, married, begun their own families, it is more difficult to get everyone together for the traditional birthday celebrations. We’ve had to learn to accept who can come and not try to arrange around everyone.

Change is difficult. The older I become, the more I realize I don’t adapt well to change. But, I must.

One question I have had for years is why do some people grow bitter and others grow better? It doesn’t appear to be just the product of an easy, blessingfilled life. I’ve known people who appeared to have all of the blessings associated with a “good” life who were bitter, resentful, critical people. I’ve known others who had trials and tribulations but only grew sweeter and more gracious.

I truly believe it’s a spirit of gratefulness that is the answer. When I believe I deserve better than I receive, when I resent the trials and pains and insufficiencies, when I focus on what I don’t have, then I will be bitter and resentful. When I, by an act of my will (not feelings), determine to be grateful, to think and express gratitude, then I transform my self-pity and dissatisfied spirit into a sweet spirit.

Truly, I’ve learned more about gratitude, about love, about generosity through loss. I’ve learned more about joy through pain. Not, that I seek the pain, but it’s there in this life. I have to choose my response.

I will admit, regretfully, that my feelings sometimes get hurt; sometimes I get angry or piqued; sometimes I am less than grateful. But, usually, I try to replace those feelings with deliberate determination to thank God for the opportunity to learn, to practice patience or forgiveness, to grow in character.

Many people get depressed during the holidays. They are alone or estranged from loved ones. Or, they are perfectionists and life isn’t going just like their script says it should. Life isn’t perfect. People aren’t perfect. Families aren’t perfect. Churches aren’t perfect. When we accept that fact (and usually we have to start with ourselves and forgive ourselves for not being perfect), and meet people and situations with grace, we will find ourselves more grateful and happier.

This Thanksgiving, maybe a little exercise in deliberate giving of thanks would be good. Find something that has caused pain and turn it around and express gratefulness for it and the lessons it prompted.

Child birth is used as an example in Scripture of a time when sorrow turns to joy. “A woman, when she is in travail (child birth) hath sorry, because her hour is come: but as son as she is delivered of the child, she remembers no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world.” John 16:21

Joy, love borne out of pain and sorrow — it’s a beautiful paradigm of life.

Editor’s note: Annette Beard is the managing editor of The Times of Northeast Benton County, chosen the best small weekly newspaper in Arkansas three years in a row. A native of Louisiana, she moved to northwest Arkansas in 1980 to work for the Benton County Daily Record. She has nine children, four sons-in-law, five grandsons and a granddaughter. She can be reached at abeard@nwaonline.com.

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