Thank you, mothers, for unceasing service

In the deep South, we always gave corsages to our mothers to wear to church on Mother’s Day.

The tradition included giving red (or colored) flowers to mothers whose own mothers were still alive and white flowers to those whose mothers were no longer living.

When I was young, Mother and Grandmother both received red corsages as their mothers were alive and MawMaw, my greatgrandmother received a white corsage. (Granddaddy always gave me his boutonniere to wear after he was finished with his role at church greeting people. His flower was always white.)

Then, came the first Mother’s Day we bought Grandmother a white corsage. MawMaw had passed the previous year and it would be her first Mother’s Day without her own mother.

Many years passed with me becoming a mother and regularly receiving flowers at church for having the most children or the youngest baby. The corsage I wore was usually yellow and Mother’s was usually red. But, in 2015, we bought a white corsage for Mother as her mother had passed the month before at 100 years of age.

It’s interesting how we tend to think in patterns and so I assumed that my own mother would live to be 100 as her mother had. But, it was not to be and she recently passed at only 86. So, for the first time in my life, my Mother’s Day corsage will be white.

It seems to be an oldfashioned, outdated custom of which many young people are unaware, but it was a nice, genteel custom and provided a way to honor mothers and their sacrifices.

Times have changed a great deal over the past 50 years and home life is different with many mothers working outside the home. But, that doesn’t change the fact that mothers and fathers are honored on their respective holidays for their (hopefully) unselfish service to their families.

I used to joke that I didn’t object to working tirelessly 24 hours a day seven days a week as long as I could have two holidays — Mother’s Day and my birthday. But, sometimes that didn’t even happen as there were still babies to be fed, meals to be prepared, laundry to wash. But, my children have blessed me again and again with sweet words, calls, cards and gifts.

Nearly four decades ago when my parenting journey began, I truly didn’t realize how quickly it would pass. The old adage that the hours are slow but the years are fast is every so true. When neck deep in diapers, car seats, toddlers, preschoolers and later teenagers, I couldn’t see the forest for the trees, so to speak. Now, they’re all grown. Many are parents themselves and I find myself speaking the words my great-grandmother, grandmother and mother used to speak.

A dear friend once said “Parenting is for the sanctification of the parents; the children can get sanctified when they become parents.”

How true that is. Done well, parenting teaches patience, self-sacrifice, unconditional love and a myriad of other character qualities that are best learned in the crucible.

Happy Mother’s Day, friends, sisters, daughters! May you realize that your efforts, though sometimes apparently unvalued, are invaluable and are laying a foundation for the future.

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Editor’s note: Annette Beard is the managing editor of The Times of Northeast Benton County, chosen the best small weekly newspaper in Arkansas for five years. A native of Louisiana, she moved to northwest Arkansas in 1980 to work for the Benton County Daily Record. She has nine children, six sons-in-law, a daughterin-law, nine grandsons, three granddaughters and another due in June. The opinions expressed are those of the author. She can be reached at abeard@nwaonline.com.