Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

Being too busy for love can hurt your work life

- CINDY KRISCHER GOODMAN Cindy Krischer Goodman is CEO of BalanceGal LLC; balancegal@gmail.com

Jeremy Wilson spends long days courting customers and building his South Florida software business. He arrives home engaged in conversati­on about cost structure or competitiv­e advantages. Married for 19 years, Mr. Wilson said he typically eats a quick dinner with his wife and logs on to tackle email.

Researcher­s have a reminder for Mr. Wilson and others like him: Couples who regularly strive for greater romantic love rather than companions­hip enjoy more satisfying relationsh­ips, according to a study published by the American Psychologi­cal Associatio­n in 2009.

Experts say there are plenty of ways to keep the passion alive all year.

To rekindle romantic love in a relationsh­ip, start by taking responsibi­lity. “Working hard, being tired, that’s not an excuse,” says Maya Ezratti, a Miami relationsh­ip expert and founder of Rewarding Relationsh­ips, a dating and relationsh­ip counseling firm.

Work demands make it easy to overlook being affectiona­te at home. But maintainin­g passion can be as easy as holding your partner’s hand. “A touch goes a long way,” Ms. Ezratti says.

In balancing work and family, daily discussion­s with a spouse often center on logistics. Experts recommend adding in deeper conversati­on whenever possible.

Bringing back freshness in a relationsh­ip takes creativity. Even date night can get old if you’re always renting a movie or going to the same restaurant.

One in every 4 married or cohabitati­ng Americans claim they’re so sleep-deprived that they’re often too tired to have sex, according to a study by the National Sleep Foundation. Larisa Wainer, relationsh­ip specialist with the Morris Psychologi­cal Group in New Jersey, recommends couples schedule sex on the calendar. “The fact that sex is spontaneou­s is a myth,” Ms. Wainer says.

Make your partner feel desirable. Try flirty text messages to build excitement for a later sexual encounter or romantic evening together.

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