Give wedding gifts

not destitute, nor are they social misfits. Should we bring it up or just write them off for the next family event? — FAMILY MATTERS

DEAR FAMILY MATTERS: I have to say, I love the “Oh, did your gift get stolen?” and then poof! Magically a gift arrives.

A lot of this is cultural, I believe. Some families teach their children to take gifts when going to someone’s home, for a big celebration and to always write a thankyou note, etc. Some families, on the other hand, don’t make these niceties a part of their daily lives.

So, what can you really do? It seems petty to me to not invite people just because they don’t bring a gift. If you really like them, you may have to look beyond this. On the other hand, if you do decide to write them off and not invite them to family events and they call you asking why — well, you may have to have a very awkward conversation. Practice it with someone, and if it feels petty when you say it out loud, just invite them. Better to have everyone together than exclude a few because they have poor manners. (Besides, you can always feel superior inside, which is a fun game relatives love to do with one another.)

Natalie’s Networking Tip: Speak your truth. If you want something, whether it is a promotion, a new job or new opportunities, they come to those who openly talk about them. The first step to anything is putting out feelers to your network. You’ve been building relationships. Now tap into them!