Tough and sweet, lived life as she wanted

Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

Whatever else can be said about Stephanie Crow, she “left this world as she lived her life — on her own terms,” said her daughter Yvonne Firczak.

“If you looked in Wikipedia for stubborn, there’s a picture of my mother,” she said. “Then, my brother underneath.”

Ms. Crow’s epic will propelled her through a tough childhood, three marriages, and numerous jobs taken in service of raising three kids, often by herself.

“She did what she wanted. Good or bad, she did what she wanted,” Ms. Firczak said.

On June 22, at 69, her mother died surrounded by what made her happiest in her life — her family.

Ms. Crow grew up in McKees Rocks and married her high school sweetheart, with whom she had two children, Yvonne and David. The couple separated when the kids were still young and for much of their lives, Ms. Crow was a single mother, working several jobs to make ends meet. Her second marriage brought another child, Karl, and three stepchildren, although she never used the word “step.”

Her resume is an eclectic mix of tough jobs, united by a motherly touch: paramedic, cleaner, Access driver, supermarket meat cutter.

When Ms. Firczak was in high school, Ms. Crow enrolled in college to become a pharmacist, but her job wouldn’t accommodate her class schedule, and she never finished.

Health problems, including a heart condition, forced Ms. Crow to retire when she was in her late 40s. But she found it hard to sit still. So she volunteered at the library, at polling places and packing food at a pantry.

“She was the most busy retired person you'd ever seen,” Ms. Firczak said.

By that time, she had married Al Crow, her happiest and longest lasting union, which was cut short when Mr. Crow died in 2005.

“They sort of, like, completed each other,” said Judy McCrum, Ms. Crow’s daughter-in-law who called Ms. Crow “mom” and Mr. Crow “dad.”

Many happy times were spent at the family’s camp at Yough Lake, where Ms. Crow took to jet skiing like a “speed freak,” her daughter said.

“Al was afraid of it,” Ms. Firczak recalled. “He stayed on the boat and she would zoom around.”

Whatever quiet time she had was spent doting over animals — her own, Sadie (dog) and, Sam and Taz (cats), and woodland creatures, birds and squirrels lucky enough to meet her with a bit of food in hand.

She wasn’t a fancy person, her daughter said, but she taught her kids self-reliance, good manners and a strong work ethic. And how to take a joke — often a totally off-the-wall one. Ms. Crow wasn’t above acting wacky to cheer up a friend in need. She could always hide behind the “old person” shtick, she thought.

As a teenager, “I gave my mom pure hell,” Ms. Firczak recalled. “When my daughter started giving me hell, I would call her and she would say, ‘That’s a winner! She’s good at it.’ ”

“Under that crust,” Ms. Firczak said, “she was just very sweet.”

When Ms. Firczak called her mother to cry about her own marriage ending, Ms. Crow said she would come right away. Not check in on her later, not visit soon.

“She would drop everything when you need her,” she said. “All her life, she was always the rock.”

But a stroke less than two years ago took away her independence and changed Ms. Crow’s resolve.

“It broke her spirit,” Ms. Firczak said. “She said she was done fighting and that's what her entire life was — a fight.”

Ms. Crow is survived by her children, her grandchildren and great-grandchildren, and her brother, Michael Corrigan.

Family and friends will be received at S.M. Finney Funeral Home in Clairton on Sunday, between 2 p.m. and 4 p.m. and between 6 p.m. and 8 p.m. A service will take place Monday at 10 a.m. at the funeral home.