The best man I never knew
I met Steven when I zipped open his body bag in Iraq. And then I got to know him, recounts Pittsburgh veteran
It was Oct. 27, 2005.
I had been in Iraq for just more than a month and was beginning to feel sorry for myself. My divorce had been finalized shortly before I was deployed (war and extended separations are very hard on military families), and I didn’t have many chances to communicate with my young children back home.
As administrator for the Air Force Trauma Center just south of Baghdad, my 16-hour days were filled with injury, suffering and no time off. It was starting to take a toll on me physically and mentally — and I still had several months to go in my tour. To top it off, it was my birthday. Poor me.
I was in this down state of mind when I got a call from my colonel, who said, “Eric, come down to the ER tent. You need to see this.” I was outside a surgical recovery tent on the other side of the compound. When I got to the ER, he motioned me to follow him to where we kept casualties outside the ER.
The colonel then unzipped a body bag to expose the body of a young soldier and handed me what remained from the soldier’s belongings: a chain with dog tags (Steven) and a small locket. Inside the locket was the picture of a
handsome young man and a beautiful young lady. The date on the outside was engraved June 15, 2005 — his wedding date just three-anda-half months earlier.
I walked back to the command tent in a daze, no longer thinking about my own miserable state. Trying to fall asleep that night, I prayed God would provide peace for Steven’s pregnant young bride and his loving mother, both of whom would soon see their worlds come crashing down the moment they were given the devastating news.
The next day I sought out Steven’s squad to get to know more about him. I spoke with his friends and they told me what had happened to Steven’s convoy the night before. They told me about him as a person — his faith, his love for his wife, his sense of humor, and how Steven couldn’t stop talking about how excited he was to become a father.
That night, I wrote letters to Steven’s mother and wife telling them how brave he’d been, highlighting all I had learned about him from his friends.
The war continued. My stint in Iraq came to an end a few months later, but I never forgot Steven.
When I returned home, I went to visit Steven’s mother. We hugged and cried and I learned even more about Steven. I promised her I’d honor his memory in a meaningful way some day.
A couple years passed and I was getting re-married. My fiance Lauren and I decided to honor my commitment to Steven’s mother by recognizing him at our reception. We set a single solitary candle on a small table in the corner of the room and rested a chair up against it to save a place for the fallen hero.
I tearfully toasted Steven and recounted this story, telling our friends and family (as I am now telling you) about the most incredible man I’d never had the chance to meet — a young man whose sacrifice changed my life and perspective forever.
This Veterans Day weekend, please take a moment to honor the women and men who have sacrificed so much for us to live peacefully in this great country. Think of their families and remember a now 11-year-old boy who will always have a hole in his life where his loving father should be.