Sorry, celebrities: Most apologies for sexual misdeeds are falling short

In the court of public opinion, a “sorry” counts for something.

But just how much an apology matters in the face of sexual assault allegations has been the subject of a debate in recent weeks. As the list grows of prominent men accused of committing sexual indecencies — Sen. Al Franken, DMinn., is the most recent — so do the critiques of how they respond. So what makes a good apology? Karina Schumann, an assistant professor in the University of Pittsburgh’s Department of Psychology who has done extensive research on the art of apologizing, said an effective apology takes full responsibility for one’s actions, acknowledges the harm done to the victims and offers a sincere recommitment to a moral standard.

When the first wave of allegations came out against movie producer Harvey Weinstein in October, he reacted with a statement that shifted the blame from his actions in the first paragraph, Ms. Schumann said.

“I came of age in the ‘60s and ‘70s, when all the rules about behavior and the workplace were different. That was the culture then,” Mr. Weinstein said.

Though he said it is no excuse, it is an attempt to situate his behavior “in growing up in a

context where this is OK, and that he’s just a product of the culture he was raised in,” Ms. Schumann said.

According to the professor, Mr. Weinstein also tried to deflect attention from his actions by mentioning the positive things he is involved with, including establishing a foundation that gives scholarships to female directors at the University of Southern California.

“This is really his attempt to make him seem like he’s an ally of women and put a positive spin on himself,” she said. “He is trying to make himself seem more moral, which is inconsistent with his more general behavior of sexually offending women. But this attempt just comes across as manipulative.”

Comedian and actor Louis C.K.’s apology for committing sexual misconduct toward five women was credited for being direct and sincere. “These stories are true,” it bluntly began. But it was panned by critics who took issue with his attempt to shift blame and found his tone annoying and obnoxious. He said that the power he had over the women was “that they admired me,” and again, “I also took advantage of the fact that I was widely admired in my and their community, which disabled them from sharing their story and brought hardship to them when they tried because people who look up to me didn’t want to hear it.”

The problem for celebrities, Ms. Schumann said, is that their apologies are almost never seen as sincere because of their public status. Another problem is that the apologies come only when they have been called out publicly.

Actor Kevin Spacey didn’t come close in his apology for allegedly sexually assaulting multiple men, Ms. Schumann said.

The professor said Mr. Spacey didn’t accept responsibility, saying he didn’t remember the incident, he made excuses for his actions and used the opportunity to try to create sympathy for himself. His decision to use the apology to come out as gay left many cold.

Mr. Franken, who issued a statement right after he was accused Thursday of groping a woman while she was asleep and forcibly kissing her during a USO tour, came closer to what Ms. Schumann considers a wellcrafted statement of apology. It came out immediately after the accusation, it was direct, it addressed her by name and apologized to her.

“The first thing I want to do is apologize: to Leeann [Tweeden], to everyone else who was part of that tour, to everyone who has worked for me, to everyone I represent, and to everyone who counts on me to be an ally and supporter and champion of women. There’s more I want to say, but the first and most important thing — and if it’s the only thing you care to hear, that’s fine — is: I’m sorry.”

Ms. Schumann said Mr. Franken’s apology comes across as sincere — most notably his use of the core words “sorry” and “apologize,” and the fact he indicates it doesn’t matter what his intentions were, just that he embraces the blame for his offenses.

“He acknowledges the harm and the intensity of the harm, the suffering and consequences of his actions for the victimized group. Not just for the victim herself, but women more generally,” Ms. Schumann said. “In doing that, he’s communicating an understanding of the extent to which his actions had an impact.”

The trick to apologizing is actually doing it — the way to say you’re sorry is to say you’re sorry.