Author Oluo shows us how to talk about race in America
Race is a topic many people find difficult to discuss. Generally, the discomfort in these conversations can be avoided. But as every person of color knows, this a privilege we aren’t usually afforded. Due to systemic racism that has existed in this country for centuries, race is something that people of color are forced to think about daily, especially since the 2016 election.
Were we passed over for that promotion because we chose to wear our hair natural? Was I driving over the speed limit, or did that police officer pull me over due to my skin being darker that his? Do I feel safe being the only black person in this white space? Are my children pre-emptively labeled as “troubled” or “aggressive” with only a glance at their “ethnic” names?
Some prejudices can be overlooked. But there are some that could, and have, cost people of color their lives. In “So You Want to Talk About Race,” Ijeoma Oluo encourages, no, urges us to have these uncomfortable conversations. If you are looking for quick tips and tidbits on how to blame shift, this isn’t the resource for you. Or maybe it is. Ultimately, you need to find the deeper meaning.
This book is for everyone. If you are white, you will get an education in things you may have been doing that can be seen as racist. You also will see that it’s not just about not being racist — it’s about actively being antiracist. And if you are committed to an anti-racism path, this book can help give you the language to respond to microaggressions, ignorance and blatant racism, in a calm and measured manner.
Ms. Oluo pulls focus to systemic racism and not just isolated incidents. Each chapter brings forth questions that I’m sure most of us have either asked or answered. Ms. Oluo covers topics from police brutality and cultural appropriation to affirmative action and the importance of representation. Through statistics, world history and personal stories, Ms. Oluo breaks down the complexities of cultural appropriation, why white people can’t get permission to put their hands in black people’s hair or say the N-word.
Ms. Olu argues that, collectively, people of color are tired of talking about race and exhausted from having to break down white people’s microaggressions toward them. She breaks down the back and forth of whether we have the right to be offended because, “It wasn’t meant that way.” Being told when and how to fight, protest, speak up, call out injustices, or where, when and how to simply exist.
As a black woman, I was able to identify with plenty of topics and examples in this book. In a chapter discussing the school-to-prison pipeline, Ms. Oluo tells the story of how, at an early age, her older brother was all but thrown away by the grade school system. I read this and thought of all of the black and brown boys that I shared a classroom with growing up. How so many of them were labeled as “troubled,” “aggressive” or “learning disabled.” I wonder how many of them were simply given up on and how different their paths could have been if only someone had just taken the time to see them.
“So You Want to Talk About Race” also introduced me to a few concepts like the model minority myth based in the Asian American experience. Ms. Oluo also reminded me to check and recognize my own privilege. Sometimes in this fight with “White America,” I find it easy to forget my able-bodied, cisgendered, heterosexual, middle-class privilege. Ms. Oluo makes helpful suggestions as how people can leverage their privilege in order to take specific action against systemic racism.
One topic I wish Ms. Oluo had covered was transracial adoption. The effects of children of color being raised by white people can be detrimental if those adoptive parents aren’t prepared with the proper tools. I have read too many stories of white families who “see no color” adopting black and brown children and failing to educate them on their heritage. This does not help prepare a child for the real world and how to navigate it.
“So You Want to Talk About Race” is thoughtful and accessible to any reader, but Ms. Oluo makes sure to challenge us all to sit in the discomfort that is modern race relations. And once we have marinated in that discomfort a bit, she wants us to ask ourselves the hard questions about how to go about actively embodying anti-racism.
“SO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT RACE” By Ijeoma Oluo Seal Press ($16.99)