Dictating another’s grief
Ariana Grande honored Mac Miller in her own way
Ariana Grande’s Wednesday night Pittsburgh concert generated considerable excitement, as fans flocked to PPG Paints Arena to see the megastar play hits from her recent albums “Sweetener” and “Thank U, Next,” both of which debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard 200.
But one question swirled around the festivities: Would Ms. Grande pay tribute to the late Pittsburgh rapper Mac Miller? Ms. Grande and Miller were a publicly visible couple for several years, before breaking up in spring 2018. Miller died last September from an accidental drug overdose. He was 26.
When the concert came and went with no overt mentions of Miller, some frustrated concertgoers took to social media to criticize Ms. Grande for what they perceived to be an inadequate display of her grief.
How despicable.
There is no question that celebrities — particularly those as visible in the social media age as Ms. Grande — invite a certain level of attention from fans that can make having a personal life difficult. And Ms. Grande has notably used her music to offer candid insights into her personal life.
But grief is a powerful thing and every person — even a star like Ms. Grande — is entitled to his or her own expression of that grief. Other people, fans or not, have no say in how that pain is expressed.
And by wasting so much time and energy being angry at what Ms. Grande didn’t do, people may have missed what she did do to honor Miller:
• Her Instagram revealed that she spent some time before the concert in Frick Park, a spot Miller celebrated often in his music.
• The pre-concert music was composed largely of songs by Miller.
• Outlets such as E! News reported that Ms. Grande reserved an empty seat for Miller at the show.
• During the performance of her hit single “Thank U, Next,” Ms. Grande choked up during a line paying tribute to Miller. The crowd cheered and filled in the lines for her.
Ms. Grande should be celebrated, not derided, for her handling of the situation. Rather than an over-thetop speech or tribute — which would likely have caused the cynics to accuse her of using Miller’s death for her gain — Ms. Grande grieved privately, offering subtle but meaningful tributes to a person whom she cared for deeply.
Didn’t like the set list? Fine. Thought the show’s sound mix could have been better? Fair enough. But there is no one way to grieve, and certainly no one is entitled to dictate another person’s expression of emotion, especially grief. That belongs to the griever alone.