Mike Tomlin: Q&A with the Steelers coach on being a dad
For the past seven years, Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin has advocated for North Side-based Urban Impact and for the past six years has been a featured speaker at its annual ManUp Pittsburgh mission, which encourages men to maximize their impact on their families and for the fatherless youth in their communities.
The 2019 ManUp mission was held June 8 at Victory Family Church in Cranberry, and during a break in the sessions, Tomlin answered a few questions about his experiences as a father of three children, Michael Dean “Dino,” Mason and Harlyn.
PG: What advice would you give to someone who is about to be a father for the first time?
MT: You’ve got no chance at being perfect. Proceed with that understanding. I know at least for me, man, I wanted to be the best dad I could be. I was trying to be perfect. And we’re not. We’re human. We’re going to make mistakes. And that’s part of the learning process, and for our kids also — to see us fail some and to acknowledge that failure and to be transparent in that way. That’d be the No. 1 piece of advice that I’d give.
PG: Growing up, your stepfather was a huge influence in your life but you didn’t have much of a relationship with your biological father. When you became a father, did you put extra pressure on yourself because of that?
MT: I don’t know if I did it because of my experience. I think I just did it because I share the same feelings that we all feel as dads and when you
look into the eyes of your child for the first time and you want the world for them, you want to do everything in your power to provide the things that are necessary for them to grow in the right ways. That’s probably where the pressure comes from. Just that love that a father has for his children.
PG: Your children had a vastly different childhood than you did. Did they feel pressure related to having a famous father and if so, how did you deal with it?
MT: It’s not a unique thing for them. It’s not like they grew up as someone else’s kids [first] and then grew up as my kids [laughs] so it’s very normal for them. We used to laugh — my daughter is 13 now but when she was younger, she thought everyone’s dad was on TV every weekend. Seriously though, it’s funny, but I think sometimes we make it out to be something that it’s not. Their perception and their journey is their perception and journey. It was never awkward or unique for them, so I never made it awkward or unique. I didn’t allow it to be. I didn’t talk about things that we do differently because of my employment or because of what I do, I just do the things that I need to do and just proceed with the understanding that nothing’s unique or odd about their upbringing to them.