LONGTIME COUPLES SHARE LOVE ADVICE
Couples with 60 years of wedded bliss share their secrets for successful, lasting marriages
As students at Mt. Lebanon High School in the 1940s, Carol Kunz and Jean Gilfillan became fast friends. So, after her freshman year of college, Ms. Kunz invited Ms. Gilfillan to a girls night at her home.
When it ended, Bill Gilfillan came by to drive his sister home. He immediately became smitten with the young hostess.
“I thought she was an attractive young lady, interesting and someone I would like to see again,” the Upper St. Clair man recalled.
Their first date was the Fourth of July fireworks in Mt. Lebanon. But any “sparks” that night were limited to those in the sky: This matchup was less than love at first sight.
But months later, when Cupid’s arrow finally hit its mark, it was a bull’s-eye: The couple married three years later in 1949.
The Gilfillans weree among local couples with 60 years or more of wedded bliss who shared their own, unique recipe for marriage longevity as the holiday for sweethearts — Valentine’s Day — arrives.
Mrs. Gilfillan, 92, attributes their success, in part, to common interests over the years, such as music, reading, golf and dancing.
The couple also share a mutual passion for helping others through the Salvation Army, as he was an advisory board member of the local chapter and she helped start its Women’s Auxiliary of Greater Pittsburgh.
Mr. Gilfillan, 94, cited their common Presbyterian religious commitment and the absence of any serious disagreements over the years.
“It’s a combination of a lot of things and obviously a great love for each other,” Mr. Gilfillan said.
He was a senior executive for Duquesne Light before retiring and Mrs. Gilfillan is an artist. The couple have two daughters, three grandchildren and two great-grandchildren.
Even after 70 years together, there is no letting up in — what else? — togetherness.
Mr. Gilfillan drives his wife to arts and crafts shows and helps her set up. They watched the Super Bowl together.
“Make sure you’re willing and ready to commit to a lifetime of marriage. It is not a short-term commitment,” Mr. Gilfillan advised today’s newlyweds.
As for celebrating Valentine’s Day 2020, the couple agreed that every day is Valentine’s Day when you are in a happy union.
“We never made a lot out of it,” Mrs. Gilfillan said of the holiday.
Georgeann Germeyer met her future husband, Earl Kleckner, in 1955 when he was a patient in South Side Hospital and she was a teenage cafeteria worker who brought him food.
As they chatted she realized she wanted to see him again, and she gave him her phone number.
“I liked him from the start,” Mrs. Kleckner said.
After he was discharged he called, and the pair went to the movies. They married three years later in 1958.
Mr. Kleckner, 87, is retired from Mellon Bank. Mrs. Kleckner, 81, was a cafeteria worker from the Baldwin-Whitehall School District.
The Whitehall couple agreed the key to their long marriage is working together on all issues.
That was especially evident recently when Mrs. Kleckner was hospitalized for 45 days for a serious illness, followed by a month in a nursing home.
“Earl visited me all day, every day. He pulled me through,” she said.
They have three sons, seven grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.
As for Valentine’s Day, it is just another day when a relationship is solid, Mrs. Kleckner said.
“Valentine’s Day is all year-round,” she said.
Rita Stanchak and Art Belback met in 1955 when he was the best man and she a bridesmaid in his twin brother’s wedding. They married seven months later.
Mrs. Belback, 82, is a retired county treasurer’s office employee, while her husband, 89, is a retired Alcoa design worker.
Mr. Belback’s tip for a long and loving marriage is “getting along.”
“We worked together raising our five kids. Today, we travel together to visit them. We spend a few weeks in Georgia and Colorado visiting three of the kids.
“That’s our vacation,” he said.
The Bethel Park couple, who have 13 grandchildren and 11 great-grandchildren, is also united in their volunteerism with Meals on Wheels and at St. Thomas More Church.
“You have to think of the other person,” Mrs. Belback said of a successful marriage.
“It’s not just all about you. Think about what’s good for both of you,” she said.
Sandy Piccioni met Tom Urbanski when he invited her out for a hamburger and root beer. When her father, Tony, got to eventually know and like him, his daughter’s heart was sealed.
“I knew he was for me,” Mrs. Urbanski, 81, said.
She credits their 61-year marriage to “being understanding and listening.” She also points to their mutual civic involvement: He is the former mayor of Glassport, while she was a member of the Glassport Women’s Club and the historical society.
They also operated as a team in the family business: Mr. Urbanski, 88, owned a heating/air-conditioning company, while his wife handled the book work.
They have four children, four grandchildren, four great-grandchildren and four step-great-grandchildren.
Her advice for newlyweds?
“Sit down and compromise. Cooler heads always prevail,” she said.