Jews seek Passover connections despite social distances
A year ago, Marnie Fienberg launched an effort called 2forSeder, in honor of her late mother-in-law, Joyce Fienberg, one of 11 worshipers killed in the October 2018 antiSemitic attack on the Tree of Life synagogue building.
Hundreds of families throughout the country, many from Pittsburgh, took part in the first 2forSeder, in which they invited at least two non-Jews to their Passover seders to build interfaith relationships and fight back against anti-Semitism.
Ms. Fienberg had planned for a sequel this year, but when the pandemic hit, she said she pivoted to a new mission: “We fought back against isolation and the bleakness that it brings.”
Passover, which begins Wednesday at sundown, is a central holiday on the Jewish calendar, commemorating events in the biblical book of Exodus in which Moses delivered the ancient Hebrews from slavery in Egypt. Passover lasts for eight days, beginning on the first night with a seder, a ritual meal in which participants recite and symbolically re-enact portions of the Exodus story.
It’s also one of the most meaningful family gatherings of the year for Jewish families, typically bringing together extended families and guests. Many synagogues also host communal seders, often on the second night of Passover.
Such gatherings are not an option this year with social distancing. Many people will be spending Passover alone in their homes, or with just their core family members.
Ms. Fienberg has held webinars with hundreds of participants, offering both spiritual and logistical
tips on holding a virtual seder with participants in two or more homes.
“I want to make sure people invite relatives who are by themselves,” said Ms. Fienberg, of Virginia. “To be isolated on the holiday, that’s the worst.”
Use of technology on sacred days such as Passover varies by observance among Jews. Most Orthodox would not, but their rabbis have encouraged them to use the occasion to focus on the family members present while connecting with elderly relatives in other ways, such as by calling them just before and after the holiday.
“The greatest challenge is it’s one of the most important times of the year that families get together,” said Rabbi Daniel Wasserman of Shaare Torah Congregation in Squirrel Hill. “A major thing is generations coming together. We’ll do it with the mind and the heart.”
The Passover seder includes a ritual in which the youngest child present asks four questions centered on why the ritual meal is conducted differently from ordinary meals.
In Jewish tradition, if one is alone at a seder, “you ask it to yourself,” Rabbi Wasserman said. “It’s not fun, it’s not something you look forward to. But some are alone. It’s just one of the elements of this unfortunate situation.”
He added: “I always tell people, as important as it is, the holiday and people being together, there are many other days” when technology can be used. “Make sure to reach out virtually when you can and make sure you’re there for each other.”
The more progressive strands of Judaism, such as the Conservative and Reform movements, have accepted the use of technology for Passover and other worship under the extraordinary circumstances of the coronavirus shutdown.
Rabbi Jeffrey Meyers of Tree of Life / Or L’Simcha in Squirrel Hill will host a virtual communal seder via Zoom on the second night of
Passover from his dining room.
“I just felt strongly there will be a lot of disconnected people,” he said. Tree of Life congregants have already been displaced from their own building following the 2018 attacks, and members are now being separated from each other.
They have a “far deeper understanding of displacement, because we’ve been living it,” he said.
That doesn’t make it easier, but he said he was sustained during the months after the attack by the outpouring of love and support received from around the world. In a similar way, he now draws heart from people who are responding to the coronavirus pandemic, whether health care providers, employees at essential businesses or people volunteering to make a difference.
He was recently invited to give a video talk to students in an Indiana school district who, like most others, are studying from home these days. He recounted stories of people quietly responding to the pandemic, such as a young man giving away face masks that he made on his 3D printer and a 9-year-old violinist who volunteered to serenade anyone celebrating a birthday or other occasion.
“I hope that my experience can provide guidance and hope and some resilience that we will weather this immense challenge,” he said.
Rabbi Ron Symons of the Center for Loving Kindness at the Jewish Community Center of Greater Pittsburgh plans to host three brief virtual seders on Friday, Sunday and Monday. He’ll be using Passover rituals to explore different themes.
Whereas in a traditional seder, someone opens the door to look for the prophet Elijah, “Here we get to open our virtual door,” he said. In spite of this year’s upheaval, “Let’s just make this about making the best seder we can have.”