This is us: Fireball, Tito’s vodka

In a very funny new skit of the internet comedy series “Greg & Donny,” for which Pittsburghese-popping actors reunited to riff on “Dat Virus,” Donny tells his freaking-out friends, via their appropriately safe video chat, “Awright — I’m going to get some Fireball. Yinz want anything from the state store?” Greg informs him, “State stores are closed indefinitely, Donny!” Donny passes out.

It was inspired to cite Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey, made by the Sazerac Co. in New Orleans, in this pure Western Pennsylvania production, because the little 50-milliliter bottles of the stuff — 33% alcohol by volume, described on the label as “Tastes like heaven, burns like hell” — are the top-selling spirit in Pennsylvania.

That’s in terms of units, according to sales data from the most recent 2018-19 fiscal year from the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board. Fireball ranked No. 7 in number of regular “fifth”-size bottles sold, too. Yinz drink a lotta Fahrball.

Until temporarily shutting down due to the COVID-19 crisis on March 16, the PLCB operated about 600 Fine Wines & Good Spirits stores across the state as well as online sales. When it resumed some online sales on April 1, the PLCB said it was limiting selections to about 1,000 of the top-selling wines and spirits. The PLCB should know, since it sells the vast majority of both, and not only keeps great data but also shares it in its annual report.

Here — the results of an intoxicating mix of people’s tastes and habits, beverage production and marketing, and price and discounts — are the Top 10 lists of what Pennsylvanians like to drink, in terms of the number of bottles purchased. (The state also ranks brands by dollars spent, so that figure follows in parentheses.)

Spirits

1. Fireball Cinnamon Whisky (50 ml) — 5,545,851 ($5,486,378)

2. Nikolai Vodka (375 ml) — 1,016,213 ($4,054,627)

3. Tito’s Handmade Vodka (750 ml) — 1,014,823 ($18,644,150)

4. Tito’s Handmade Vodka (1 L) — 941,280 ($22,838,432)

5. Tito’s Handmade Vodka (1.75 L) — 929,164 ($31,056,538)

6. Jack Daniel’s Old No. 7 Tennessee Whiskey (750 ml) — 819,008 ($19,455,691)

7. Fireball Cinnamon Whisky (750 ml) — 736,027 ($13,189,300)

8. Captain Morgan Spiced Rum (750 ml) — 720,424 ($11,517,655)

9. Crown Russe Vodka (1.75 L) — 714,885 ($7,284,174)

10. Captain Morgan Spiced Rum (1.75 L) —670,742 ($17,327,154)

The PLCB’s annual report continues to list the next 15 bestsellers — six are vodkas, including 50-milliliter Tito’s — and contains lots of other interesting data, including the fact that showing the most growth in units sold were the 50-milliliter bottles of Fireball (272.8%) as well as 1-liter bottles of Tito’s (48.1%) and 1.75-liter bottles of Tito’s (28.2%).

Pennsylvania Libations in the Strip District is continuing to do curbside and delivered sales of the Pennsylvania spirits it represents and is getting questions on its Facebook page from new customers such as, “[W]hat whiskey do you all have that is like [J]ack Daniels and what vodka do you have that is similar to Tito’s?”

Wines

1. Apothic Red Winemaker’s Blend (750 ml) — 504,325 ($5,455,033)

2. Kendall-Jackson Vintner’s Reserve Chardonnay (750 ml) — 487,189 ($6,844,845)

3. La Marca Prosecco (750 ml) — 452,926 ($6,723,131)

4. Barefoot Pinot Grigio (1.5 L) — 446,276 ($5,046,140)

5. Barefoot Moscato (1.5 L) — 441,994 ($5,029,952)

6. Cavit Pinot Grigio delle Venezia (1.5 L) — 424,872 ($5,571,357)

7. Woodbridge by Robert Mondavi Chardonnay (1.5 L) — 398,595 ($5,007,449)

8. Barefoot Pink Moscato (1.5 L) — 370,207 ($4,233,122)

9. Barefoot Pink Moscato (750 ml) — 369,940 ($2,653,972)

10. Barefoot Moscato (750 ml) — 332,353 ($2,380,393)

Clearly, Pennsylvanians like to drink big bottles and Barefoot.

Top 10 product categories

1. Unflavored vodka

2. American whiskey (bourbon)

3. California Cabernet Sauvignon

4. Flavored vodka

5. California Chardonnay

6. Canadian whisky

7. Scotch

8. Box red wine

9. Unflavored gin

10. Cognac

But favorites can vary by county. Allegheny County, No. 1 in terms of spending on booze ($309,592,819), was in line with 53 other counties in the state where the favorite category was unflavored vodka. In a dozen counties, American whiskey was tops. But Canadian whisky ruled, for some reason, in Greene County, one of the farthest away from Canada. Oh, wait, Fireball is in the Canadian whisky category.

Allegheny also was in the majority of counties (25) where the top wine category was California Cabernet Sauvignon. Box red was a close second in 22 counties. Armstrong was one of 10 counties that most like beverage wine.

Most (75%) spirits sales occurred at retail, and the rest was to licensees. Same with wine, with 74% of sales were retail to individual consumers. The PLCB’s total sales for fiscal year 2018-19 were $2.5 billion, 3% more than the previous year. Sales are sure to be down when the next annual report comes out this fall.

To read more interesting tidbits, including the PLCB’s top 10 bestselling Pennsylvania wines and spirits, which producers also may sell themselves, you can dig into the 2018-19 annual report at https://www.lcb.pa.gov/ About-Us/News-and-Reports/Documents/AR_201819_FINAL.pdf.

And try to get through to order your favorite spirits and wine online via finewinesandgoodspirits.com.

In between tries there, you can watch “Dat Virus” — http://www.greg-anddonny.com.