Memories that never would’ve been
Blessings found inside these stay-at-home times
So much of this stay-at-home time has been about lost luxuries. The inability to eat in a restaurant or play at a park. No live sports, limited travel and scant sanity while trying to function alongside tiny tyrants.
But with restrictions lifted, and because I never, ever want to sound like a whiner — “There are greater tragedies in the world,” my dad often told me — I thought it was time to focus on what has been gained as a result of this time period.
Many of you with kids are likely grateful for the additional family time, the opportunity to do things that had been overlooked or the ability to connect in ways that you never had before.
We’re no different, and that has created some special moments during times when I would’ve otherwise been out of town or stuck at the ballpark for hours on end.
There have been hikes and long dog walks, plus my 6-year-old son swinging on a gigantic vine atop our backyard. (It’s safe. I swear.)
We’ve also made a couple trips to New Wilmington, where my family loves the nature trail and ecology area adjacent to my alma mater, Westminster College.
Between the constant flurry of activity or being able to read more (currently “The MVP Machine,” by Travis Sawchik and Ben Lindbergh), it’s reinforced something I sort of already knew about myself: I do better when I’m busy.
Our family does, really. In the early months, before the weather turned, we’d play in the basement and garage. We bought my older son new rollerblades and a trampoline. He made obstacle courses. Part of his “school” became learning new words by shooting them with Nerf darts. The younger one — our meathead — went nuts over sporting goods.
Meanwhile, before and after “school,” my wife and I would crank music, doing our best to educate the kids and ensure they don’t grow up listening to junk.
We played Led Zeppelin, Rolling Stones, Tom Petty and Creedence Clearwater Revival, in addition to the usual dose of Grateful Dead. Then we’d switch to Jason Isbell, Amanda Shires, Sturgill Simpson, Drive-By Truckers, Warren Zevon or Steve Earle. There were blues mornings with Stevie Ray Vaughn, Jimi Hendrix and Eric Clapton, plus plenty of Phish, U2 and Johnny Cash. We even incorporated some punk/ska with Rancid, Bouncing Souls and Reel Big Fish.
As a kid, my parents always fed me good music. My dad handled classic rock and blues. My mom contributed classic country and bluegrass. I suppose it’s one of the reasons I’ve long been obsessed with the Dead, a band that has dabbled in several genres.
However, my biggest COVID-19-related musical obsession has actually been an ironic one: songwriting legend John Prine, who died from the virus back in early April.
If you’ve never listened to Prine, I can’t recommend him enough. The detail. The sense melody. How Prine told stories. His relatability. It’s pure genius.
Songs like “Lonesome Friends of Science” and “In Spite of Ourselves” should serve as a master’s courses on resisting the cliche. “Knockin’ on Your Screen Door” is a smile set to music. “Angel from Montgomery” and “Sam Stone” are so detailed and astutely written that it doesn’t seem fair.
The downtime has also given my wife and me a greater appreciation for our backyard, which now houses an inflatable swimming pool, a gigantic net and plenty of beautiful flowers and shrubs.
Not a day goes by where we don’t spend a couple hours outside doing something, which I love. We’ve grilled more, and I’ve started working on my golf game, hitting balls into that net as a form of therapy.
I grew up playing outside — pickup games on the street or at local parks/ schools — and I miss it. It shaped me. It shaped others. We’d throw some snacks in a bag, take off on our bikes and be back for dinner. I wish like hell I felt comfortable affording our kids that same sort of freedom. (Thanks, crazy world and crazier people.)
So while I think we can complain about this period of time limiting us in so many ways, I also think we should take a minute to reflect on how it has made us better.
How it has enabled families to reconnect. How maybe it has forced us to try new/old hobbies or figure out the beauty of what’s behind our house. Or perhaps it has been riding bikes around an empty parking lot or random games of home run derby.
All of it actually reminds me of a Prine song titled “Souvenirs.” Memories they can’t be boughten They can’t be won at carnivals for free Well it took me years To get those souvenirs And I don’t know how they slipped away from me
While this stay-at-home time is certainly coming to a close, I hope none of us will forget the memories we’ve made and what we’ve accomplished over these past few months. I know I sure won’t.