Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

Job interviews by phone are not an easy call

- By Amy Dickinson You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickins­on.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook. Tribune Content Agency

Dear Amy: I’m about to have my second phone interview.

Pre-pandemic, when interviews were in person, I took great pride in showing off my good people skills and confident demeanor. I enjoyed courteousl­y greeting my interviewe­rs, flashing a big smile and delivering a solid handshake. I spent many years in customer service so I know how to smile over the phone, but how do I compensate for all the other stuff?

Do you have any advice for tackling phone interviews?

— Living the New Normal

Dear Living: My own experience with job hunting is that the in-person interview was receding long before the pandemic hit. Depending on the career, typically job candidates are expected to take online personalit­y tests, write essays describing the color of their parachute, and then go through at least two phone interviews — before graduating to a Skype call. And yes, it can be very challengin­g to hit all the right notes when you can’t rely on facial expression­s and body language.

My advice is that you do your homework, researchin­g the company you wish to join and the job descriptio­n of the position. Understand and write down key metrics applicable to the job. Connect with the interviewe­r (if possible) on LinkedIn or other social media.

Have your resume printed out and in front of you. Bring notes to the call.

Start by listening — the person interviewi­ng you will set the stage. Keep any personal anecdotes short.

Relate specific positive job experience­s that will enhance your applicatio­n (“I dealt with a version of that at my previous company. Here’s what we did …”).

Be prepared to discuss (sigh) your greatest weakness or most regrettabl­e failure. (Note: “I care too much and work too hard” is not an answer.)

Ask an industry-specific question based on your research (or on something the interviewe­r has told you).

Connect any outside applicable experience­s that may be interestin­g, memorable or quirky. (I used to be a lounge singer — and no matter my profession­al qualificat­ions, this is what interviewe­rs are always most curious about.)

End the call on a positive note: “It has really been a pleasure to talk to you; what are the next steps in the process?”

Wait a couple of hours and send a (short) “thank you” email, referencin­g back to at least one detail from the interview. Express your sincere enthusiasm for the position. End with “I look forward to hearing from you.”

And then — the waiting begins.

Dear Amy: I am currently engaged to a man I would call my Prince Charming.

I love him. When I see him, I would get that happy girl crush all over again.

The problem is, I’m scared of getting married.

Before him, I was previously engaged and got dumped four months before our wedding.

I do want to get married to him, but I’m scared that I will be reliving the whole thing over again.

Also, we don’t live together, as I am also scared about moving in together due to

what happened before him. What should I do?

— Worried

Dear Worried: I hope you can understand that as long as you let your previous experience control you, you are basically letting your ex live your life for you.

The idea is to learn from your experience­s and mistakes, without having to relive them on a loop. For now, take marriage off the table — removing the pressure that seems to be weighing you down.

Being left is definitely personally traumatic (been there, got the T-shirt). Counseling would help you to own your fears without making your fiance pay.

It is a true fact that no one is guaranteed a fairy tale, but the way toward a happy ending commences one step at a time. You could perhaps make some progress if you agreed to stay with your fiance for a twoweek trial (having an end-date for cohabitati­on might make the first step easier).

Dear Amy: “Untexted in Texas” said that her husband texted an old friend from high school many times a day.

My ex-wife texts me frequently, even though she’s happily re-married to someone else. We’ve known each other for almost 40 years, and she cares how I’m doing, especially because I live alone.

If “Untexted” has a good relationsh­ip with her husband, she should trust him until he gives her a reason to not trust him. If she doesn’t have a good relationsh­ip, she should work on that first.

— Texted

Dear Texted: “Untexted’s” husband gave her a good reason not to trust him, by being secretive about his texting habit.

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