Bumping milestone event to next year
DEAR MISS MANNERS: What advice do you have for organizers of annual events in light of cancellations brought on by the pandemic?
If I were the organizer of, say, the 75th annual Springfield Souvenir Spoon Show and Swap Meet, I would have already made the difficult decision to cancel the 2020 event. So, what do I call the show and swap meet that I am organizing for 2021? Can it still be labeled an annual event, even though we skipped a year? And is it the 75th?
I just canceled that jubilee event! Can we celebrate our 75th show in 2021 and
still, in good conscience, proclaim to be an annual event?
GENTLE READER: While the COVID-19 pandemic may be new, the reality that unanticipated events will affect the best-laid plans is not. Europe is littered with summer festivals that went on hiatus during World War II, if not for the Fourth Crusade.
Next year’s Spoon Show and Swap Meet will be the 75th, even though it is the 2021 event. Miss Manners reminds you that there are two reasons to explicitly label an event as annual: the hope that when people attend this time, they will put it on the calendar for next year and the bragging rights of being an institution. The former will, one hopes, have effect again soon. And the footnote around the latter will enhance your reputation by emphasizing your longevity.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: We take care of a former neighbor (let’s call her Mary) who is largely a shut-in. When another neighbor recently passed away, Mary wrote a sympathy card to the widower of the deceased, addressed it “John Doe, widower,” and asked us to deliver it.
We feel that this is in extremely bad taste and are holding the letter until we can decide what to do.
Mary has a barely concealed crush on John Doe, and we feel she has designs on him. Addressing the card “widower”
seems like pouring salt on an alreadyopen wound. Oh, did I mention that this letter was written on the day John’s wife died?
What should we do with this card?
GENTLE READER: As it is too late to avoid accepting the letter, you are going to have to speak with your former neighbor to explain why you have not delivered it.
“We saw John, and we were going to give him your letter, but he was so distraught that we realized you would not want to make him feel worse with an envelope addressed to ‘widower.’ Would you mind if we put your letter in a new envelope before we deliver it?”
If the friend declines, then apologize and return the letter to her. If not, address the envelope — and drop it in the mail.
Miss Manners realizes this is not the delivery method your neighbor is expecting, but she is equally confident that you do not want to be associated with whatever further insensitivity is to be found inside the envelope.