Nothing like winging it with high school picks
It was dubbed “The Return.”
A hero who guided his team to six world titles came back to town for the first time since making a career move.
No, The Fumbler isn’t talking about Tom Brady’s homecoming in New England. He’s talking about his own return to the world of competitive eating.
The Fumbler wears many hats. One of them has a big chicken wing on it. About two decades ago, The Fumbler began entering wing eating competitions throughout the area. He was good. Very good, in fact.
Hey, where did Neanderthals get their chicken wings? At the Cave-FC.
The enormous success prompted The Fumbler to join a wing eating league. Talent evaluators didn’t project him to be a star, so he was selected in just the sixth round of the 2000 draft.
His team — What the Cluck! — was based out of a bar in the tiny town of Smock, Fayette County. In his second season, The Fumbler led his team to its first Wing Bowl title. He went on to do that five more times before dumping chicken wings for raw vegetables a few years ago.
Recently, that bar in Smock invited The Fumbler back to induct him into its hall of fame. The Fumbler was honored. And by night’s end, he was full.
Forty-four wings! The Fumbler still has it!
A 44-14 record in Week 5 moved The Fumbler to 279-83 (.770) on the season.
Follow The Fumbler on Twitter — @FumblerPG
Here are his thoughts on this weekend’s top games:
Central Catholic at Mt. Lebanon, 7 p.m. Friday — Ali-Frazier. Holmes-Norton. Central Catholic-Mt. Lebanon. As far as heavyweight fights go, this is a big one. Let’s just hope it’s no TysonHolyfield and someone’s ear gets bit off. Ali and Frazier fought three times, and The Fumbler believes these two teams will play twice this season. Round 1 is Friday. Round 2 will be for the WPIAL Class 6A title. This could be Lebo’s year. Winner: Mt. Lebanon.
Gateway at Penn-Trafford, 7:30 p.m. Friday — Penn-Trafford coach John Ruane is a teacher at Gateway High School. Rumor has it that Ruane is giving all of the Gateway players he teaches detention Friday. It’s supposedly going to last until about 10 p.m. Clever move for sure. OK, so The Fumbler is joking, of course. Neither of these teams are jokes, though. But behind QB Brad Birch and his talented pass catchers, Gateway is a little better. Winner: Gateway.
Moon at Peters Township, 7 p.m. Friday — Did you hear about the restaurant NASA recently built on the moon? It has great food, but no atmosphere. Expect a great atmosphere at Peters for this one despite the fact that the Indians were surprisingly handed a lopsided loss by Upper St. Clair last week. Meanwhile, Moon bounced back from an early 7-0 deficit to beat South Fayette. Look for the only unbeaten team in Class 5A to remain unbeaten.
Winner: Moon.
Greensburg Salem at Armstrong, 7 p.m. Friday
— For weeks, The Fumbler referred to Hayden Teska as Hayden Tesla. That’s because the Greensburg Salem QB was electric in leading his team to four consecutive wins. But there was a power outage last week as the Golden Lions were thumped by Hampton. Somebody call Duquesne Light! The power better come back on, because Armstrong QB Cadin Olsen could light up the GS defense.
Winner: Armstrong.
And the rest (home teams in capital letters):
Thursday NON-CONFERENCE —
Perry over Carrick. Friday
WPIAL CLASS 6A — Quad County Conference: HEMPFIELD over Baldwin; SENECA VALLEY over Canon-McMillan; NORTH ALLEGHENY over Norwin.
WPIAL CLASS 5A — Allegheny Six Conference: SOUTH FAYETTE over Bethel Park; Upper St. Clair over WEST ALLEGHENY. Big East Conference: LATROBE over Connellsville;
Woodland Hills over FRANKLIN REGIONAL. Northeast Conference: Fox Chapel over KISKI AREA; PENN HILLS over North Hills; Pine-Richland over SHALER.
WPIAL CLASS 4A — Big Eight Conference: Belle Vernon over RINGGOLD; McKeesport over WEST MIFFLIN; Thomas Jefferson over LAUREL HIGHLANDS. Greater Allegheny: Hampton over PLUM; Highlands over INDIANA; Knoch over MARS. Parkway Conference: Aliquippa over CHARTIERS VALLEY; MONTOUR over Blackhawk; New Castle over BEAVER.
WPIAL CLASS 3A — Allegheny Seven Conference: DEER LAKES over Burrell; FREEPORT over East Allegheny; Valley over DERRY. Interstate Conference: MOUNT PLEASANT over Brownsville; Elizabeth Forward over SOUTH ALLEGHENY; SOUTHMORELAND over Yough. Northwestern Six Conference: Avonworth over AMBRIDGE; Central Valley over KEYSTONE OAKS; QUAKER VALLEY over Hopewell.
WPIAL CLASS 2A — Allegheny Conference: Serra Catholic over LIGONIER VALLEY. Century Conference: CHARLEROI over Beth-Center; Chartiers-Houston over FRAZIER; MCGUFFEY over Waynesburg. Midwestern Conference: Freedom over ELLWOOD CITY; BEAVER
FALLS over Mohawk; LAUREL over New Brighton; NESHANNOCK over Riverside. Three Rivers Conference: STO-ROX over Seton LaSalle; South Side Beaver over CARLYNTON.
WPIAL CLASS 1A — Big Seven Conference: ROCHESTER over Fort Cherry; SHENANGO over Northgate; Our Lady of the Sacred Heart over UNION. Eastern Conference: Bishop Canevin over LEECHBURG; Clairton over IMANI CHRISTIAN; GREENSBURG CENTRAL CATHOLIC over Riverview; Springdale over JEANNETTE. Tri-County South Conference: WEST GREENE over Bentworth; California over JEFFERSON-MORGAN; Mapletown over AVELLA; CARMICHAELS over Monessen.
NON-CONFERENCE — STEUBENVILLE, OHIO over Allderdice; North Catholic over SOUTH PARK; CLEARFIELD over Trinity; University, W.Va. over ALBERT GALLATIN; BUTLER over Westinghouse.
Saturday afternoon
WPIAL CLASS 2A — Allegheny Conference: ApolloRidge over SHADY SIDE ACADEMY; Steel Valley over SUMMIT ACADEMY. Three Rivers Conference: WESTERN BEAVER over Brentwood.
WPIAL CLASS 1A — Big Seven Conference: Cornell over BURGETTSTOWN.